Good morning from eastern Maine, where this week, you may have noticed that I did not send out a Tuesday afternoon post! I tried, friends, truly I did, but I’ll be honest: life is lifing. Work is working. And sometimes, you simply don’t have enough hours in the day to get everything done. I promise we’ll be right back on schedule next week. I take this very seriously! That’s a The Other Maine promise.

• When Mainers decide they don’t like something, they make their feelings known - quick. Especially when it involves stupid corporations run by greedy out of state billionaires trying to take advantage of Maine resources. See: the energy corridor vote a few years ago, and banning data centers right now.

• Let’s start taking bets now on which of the big, fancy promises the redevelopers of the Bangor Mall are making will actually happen. Sure, people will pay $300,000 to live at the Bangor Mall. Sure, they’ll have glass walls and spiral stairs that mobility-challenged people won’t be able to use. I’m sure they’ll use top-notch materials, too. Super high quality.

• That said: surely somebody wants to rent a “sex house” in Ellsworth? I wonder how much the cleaning fee costs.

• Pro tip for Bangor region paddlers: the annual Old Town Canoe Scratch & Dent sale is set for April 10-12 at Ski Rack Sports in Bangor. This is THE place to get a new canoe or kayak for not a lot of money, and all that’s “wrong” with it is there’s a little ding or scrape somewhere. Perfectly good watercraft otherwise, however, so if you’ve always wanted to buy one, don’t miss this yearly chance to get a real good deal on the best canoes and kayaks in the world! Old Town Canoe is not a sponsor of The Other Maine (though if they want to be please contact me).

50 years ago this week, one of the most mysterious and gruesome murders in Maine history occurred - and all these decades later, no one knows who committed the crime, or what the true motivation was. An anonymous call alerted Penobscot County sheriffs to a burned-out car on the side of Route 9 in Amherst, with a body burned beyond recognition inside. They quickly learned the body belonged to James A. Cassidy, a Boston-area bank executive wanted for embezzling over a million dollars, who went missing from his home in Brookline a few days prior. It’s believed Cassidy died in the fire after an autopsy turned up no sign of bullet wounds - though his body was burned so badly investigators couldn’t find any other evidence of foul play. The case quickly went cold. There’s speculation there was a connection to organized crime, though nothing is proved. Why did he end up in Maine? Was he already dead when the fire was set? It remains a mystery. Maine State Police are still accepting tips to this day.

Music & Dance

April 9: False Gods, Coelacanth, Revenant and Only the Few, 7 p.m., The Old Town Theatre, Old Town

April 10: So Good: The Neil Diamond Experience, 7 p.m., Criterion Theatre, Bar Harbor

April 11: Very Greasy, 7 p.m., Hey Sailor, Searsport

April 11: The Sugar Snaps, 7 p.m., Marshall Wharf Brewing Company, Belfast

April 11: Minor Gold, 7 p.m., The Underground Lounge, Belfast

April 11: The Wild Cranberries Collective presents Angusisdead, Dad Doxxer and Mannequin Republic, 7:30 p.m, Red Rabbit Bazaar, Bangor

April 12: Shanghai String Quartet, 3 p.m., Minsky Hall, University of Maine, Orono

April 12: Goodnight Moonshine, 4 p.m., Clifford Arts Center, Unity College, Unity

April 12: One Night of Queen: A Tribute Performed By Gary Mullen & The Works, 7 p.m., Cross Insurance Center, Bangor

Theatre & Comedy

April 10-12: Maine Masque presents “The Glass Menagerie,” daily at Hauck Auditorium, University of Maine, Orono

April 9: Greater Bangor Music Showcases presents “Music Off Broadway,” 7 p.m., Peakes Auditorium, Bangor High School, Bangor

Art, Books, Film & Culture

April 9: Screening of “Marcel Duchamp: The Art of the Possible,” 6 p.m., Blue Hill Public Library, Blue Hill

April 10: “From Refugee to Neighbor: Rethinking What it Means to be American,” talk by Abdi Nor Iften, 4 p.m., Belfast Free Library, Belfast

April 10: “Enmax, Iberdola and the Globalization of Maine’s Power Industry,” talk by Dr. Stefano Tijerina, 2 p.m., Chadbourne Hall, University of Maine

April 10: Screening of “National Treasure,” 6 p.m., Blue Hill Public Library, Blue Hill

April 10-11: Friends of the Bangor Public Library Spring Book Sale, Bangor Public Library, Bangor

April 11: “Our Maine Fibershed,” talk by Pat Harpell, director of the Maine Fibershed, 10:30 a.m., Page Farm and Home Museum, University of Maine, Orono

April 11: Bangor Beautiful presents live plant staking workshop, 1 p.m., Kenduskeag Stream Picnic Area, 30 Valley Ave, Bangor

April 12: Let Cuba Live presents benefit screening of “Cuba and the Cameraman,” 4:30 p.m., Red Rabbit Bazaar, Bangor

April 12: Screening of documentary “The Stamp Thief: A Holocaust Mystery,” 2 p.m., D.P. Corbett Building, University of Maine, Orono

April 14: State of the Planet lecture series with UMaine geoarchaeologist Dr. Dan Sandweiss, noon, Dyke Business Center, Husson University, Bangor

April 14: Opera House Arts Film Club presents “The Shawshank Redemption, 6 p.m., Stonington Opera House, Stonington

April 14: “The Doctrine of Discovery from an Indigenous Perspective,” talk by Passamaquoddy language keeper Dr. Dwayne Tomah, noon, Memorial Union, University of Maine, Orono

April 15: Screening of “Sludge: A PFAS Uprising,” 7 p.m., Blue Hill Public Library, Blue Hill

Fairs, Festivals, Markets, Outdoors & Misc.

April 11: Souadabscook Stream Canoe Race, 9 a.m., 265 Bog Road, Hermon

We’ve made it, everybody: the finale of the March Madness of Maine Characters. Quite frankly, I simply cannot believe the results.

In a truly shocking turn of events, we have an out-and-out tie between Joshua Chamberlain, Lion of the Round Top and former Maine governor, and Charlotte the Spider, hero of “Charlotte’s Web.” Legit: it’s a tie. Each character got 17 votes. 50/50.

I can see how it was a tough decision. Both are icons, for wildly different reasons. It kind of makes me proud - that equal numbers of people love a real historical Maine figure, and a fictional, sentient spider from a classic children’s book.

That said: I did not really prepare for this outcome. Thankfully, I’ve consulted with the co-commissioner of the Maine Characters Athletic Association (MCAA) - my partner Zach - and we have come up with a solution for how to honor both winners. Charlotte, wise woman that she is, will become a permanent advisor to Chamberlain. And, in honor of his legendary charge during Gettysburg, she will weave the phrase “BAYONETS!” in her web, as seen below in this obviously excellent image I made in Canva because I’m totally a professional graphic designer.

Thanks, everybody, for participating! This was so much fun. Should we do this again next year, with some also-rans that should get another chance, as well as some new characters? Let me know in the comments.

Good morning from eastern Maine, where this week, I went to see “Project Hail Mary” and emerged completely obsessed with Rocky, the genius scientist alien who becomes Ryan Gosling’s best friend in the movie. The movie itself is delightful, but I love everything about Rocky - the character itself, the species he is and how he evolved, the incredible puppetry that brought him to life and the puppeteer that did it. Great flick. I love hard sci-fi that’s also fun. I love practical effects. Gotta read the book now. Amaze amaze amaze.

• JWoww from “Jersey Shore” won her lawsuit in Bangor federal court this week over the $1 million camp she built with her ex-husband on Round Pond in Steuben. The tea on the trial is fun to read.

• Between Janet Mills’ unpleasant and devoid of context Graham Platner attack ads and Susan Collins’ inane crowing about her “track record” (whatever that means), I am going to shell out the money for YouTube Premium so I don’t have to see any more of these stupid, stupid ads when I am just trying to watch my silly internet programs. I hate this nasty mudslinging shit.

• Rasa Indian Cuisine at 175 Exchange St. in downtown Bangor will hold its grand opening on April 6! It’s owned by the same folks that own Taj in South Portland, and that place rules, so this is excellent news.

• Somebody bought the Bangor Mall! Both the original mall structure, and the addition that currently houses a furniture store. Is it the same person that bought both buildings so they can have a matching pair? When will we find out who bought it? WHO BOUGHT IT? And more importantly: WHAT WILL THEY DO WITH IT??

40 YEARS AGO Did you know that in addition to the traditional Kenduskeag Stream Canoe Race - the 59th edition of which is set for April 18 this year - Bangor has at various times also hosted a Kenduskeag Stream Slalom? The much more technical race, in which canoeists maneuvered through a series of gates along the stream, was usually held a few weeks earlier to take advantage of the even higher water levels and wilder rapids. The first slalom event was held in 1969, and has been held on and off for years, though not since 2022.

A shoutout to the newly-formed Wild Blueberry Collective, a group of local volunteers - all women! - hoping to purchase 158 acres of blueberry barrens in my hometown of Searsport, with an eye toward preserving the land for public access. The group is hosting an Earth Day fundraiser raffle and yard sale at the UU Church in Belfast on April 22. Check them out on Instagram, and chuck them some money if you have some laying around to help them reach their goal!

Music & Dance

April 2: Elsie Gawler and Ethan Stokes Tischler, 7 p.m., The Underground Lounge, Belfast

April 3: Ellsworth Community Music Institute presents the Downeast New Music trio, 1 p.m., Moore Community Theater, Ellsworth

April 3: Sunburned Sharks, 5 p.m, Memorial Union, University of Maine, Orono

April 4: Alumni Jazz Band swing dance, 7:30 p.m., Next Generation Theatre, Brewer

April 4: Hymn for Her, 6 p.m., Hey Sailor, Searsport

April 4: Waterbound Ensemble, 7 p.m., First Congregational Church, Blue Hill; donations benefit Dolly Fisher Emergency Fund

April 7: Fiddler’s Jam, 5 p.m., Marshall Wharf Brewing Company, Belfast

April 8: Bagaduce Music presents Balfolk dance and music workshop and performance, 5 p.m., 49 South St., Blue Hill

April 8: Windham Chamber Singers, 7 p.m., Hammond Street Congregational Church, Bangor

Theater & Comedy

April 2-5: Grand Players present “Little Women: The Musical,” daily at the Grand Theatre, Ellsworth

April 3-5: Maine Masque presents “The Glass Menagerie,” daily at Hauck Auditorium, University of Maine, Orono

April 3: Comedy night with Ian Stuart, Adam Hatch and Christian McCue, 6 p.m., The Old Town Theatre, Old Town

April 8: Intro to Stand-up Comedy with working comics Adam Hatch and Ian Stuart, six week course every Wednesday, Hollywood Casino, Bangor; register here

Art, Books, Film & Culture

April 2: 2026 William Cohen Lecture feat. former Ambassador to China Nicholas Burns, 2 p.m., Collins Center for the Arts, University of Maine, Orono

April 3: “Is a Universal Basic Income Good for Workers?” talk by Prof. Michael Howard, 3 p.m., Chadbourne Hall, University of Maine, Orono

April 3-5: “Raiders of the Lost Ark,” daily, Criterion Theatre, Bar Harbor

April 6: Poetry reading by Martha Duncan, 1 p.m., Blue Hill Public Library, Blue Hill

April 6-7: Waldo Reads Together book discussion of “Call Me America” by Abdi Nor Iftin, 3 p.m. Monday and 6:30 p.m. Tuesday, Belfast Free Library, Belfast

April 7: “How Healthy Are We?” talk by Dr. Puthiery Ja, director of the Maine CDC, noon, Dyke Business Center, Husson University, Bangor

April 7: Opera House Arts Film Club screens “Annie Hall,” 6 p.m., Stonington Opera House, Stonington

April 7: “Captain Albert Stephens: His Life and Legacy,” documentary screening, 6:30 p.m., Colonial Theatre, Belfast

April 8: Hoppily Ever After Romance Book Club reads “Mistakes Were Made” by Lucy Score, 7:30 p.m., Bookspace, Columbia Street, Bangor

Fairs, Festivals, Markets, Outdoors & Misc.

April 2: Timberdoodle Thursday; talk and then nature walk to look for American woodcocks, 7 p.m., Fields Pond Audubon Center, Holden

April 4: Passagassawaukeag River Race, canoe/kayak lineup and packet pickup begins at 8:30 a.m., Savage Road, Waldo

April 4: Hike for the Homeless, annual walking fundraiser for Bangor Area Homeless Shelter, 9 a.m., starts at Bangor Waterfront

Well, folks, we’re here: the final matchup of the March Madness of Maine Characters. I am, quite frankly, shocked that these two characters ended up at the finish line: Joshua Chamberlain, Lion of the Round Top, and Charlotte the Spider, hero of E.B. White’s “Charlotte’s Web.”

I, in my many years of experience with these sorts of things, assumed that we’d end up with Paul Bunyan, Pennywise, Bananas T. Bear, other marquee names in the finale. And while Paul did make it quite far, in the end, the largest character on the list was beaten by the smallest. A true David and Goliath situation, despite the fact that both characters generally seem quite lovely and not belligerent at all.

There’s also something kind of poetic about it, that these two figures advanced. Joshua Chamberlain, a symbol of Maine bravery and valor, anti-slavery, highly educated, compassionate. Charlotte, a character from a beloved children’s book; wise, kind and thoughtful, part of the natural world, whimsical but touching. I like what that says about us.

Now it’s up to you, dear reader, to name the winner in this weeks-long process. It’s been a ton of fun. Let’s do it again next year! Which characters do you think belong on the list, and should get a chance to compete for dominance? Sound off in the comments.

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Johan Alexander's written work has received support from Maine Writers & Publishers Alliance, Periplus Collective, StoryStudio Chicago, and Anaphora Arts Writing Residencies, and he was an inaugural Maine Lit Fest Fellow in 2022. His most recent stories appear in print in The Telling Room’s 20th Anniversary Anthology, and online in LatineLit and Eunoia Review, and are forthcoming in ON PAPER Literary Art Zine. Born in Medellín, Colombia, Johan Alexander currently lives in Portland, Maine. Word stuff at www.johanalexander.com.

This envelope, my door, early this morning. Staring through the kitchen window over the sink, I wondered who tacked it there, overnight. What did it mean? Who, what, why? I sighed; my breath appeared before my face. I opened the envelope. A couple of lined pages. I noted the handwritten script, cursive, old-fashioned? My stomach grumbled softly. Only a couple of pages…

Nana always made angel-food cake, usually for someone’s birthday.

Because the majority of my family’s birthdays are crunched into the months of January and February, growing up, Nana’s angel-food cakes were always accompanied by Maine’s winter snows.

Or, better, let’s try this.

Maine’s winter snows crunched and puffed, growing up, much like my Nana’s angel-food cakes, which always accompanied my family’s birthdays in the months of January and February.

Of course, no other cake, angel-food or otherwise, comes close to Nana’s.

The golden crust, flaking against a big round plate, sugar dust whispering against white sponge underneath, early-morning January sunrays brushing against freshly fallen snow near Nana’s house under Bear Hill.

Sometimes, in a perfect moment, the light is just at that angle, the powdered snow fluffs into a brisk wind, bits of gilded and burnt leaves and weather-withered foliage rustling, appearing, glistening, disappearing in clumps, the entirety of my backyard and the slopes beyond crackling and settling, burnt edges, looking like, you guessed it…

All this reminds me of Nana, and I immediately warm up from this memory full of love, and this warmth is much needed as I wait outside in the freezing cold, as my dog sniffs the same spot for the fiftieth time, nope, circling back, fifty-first time, before deciding, yes or no, to pee.

He decides no, moves to another spot, and starts to sniff again.

Sweet memories of warm sweets baked by sweet people always help me get through this weather.

My main Maine parcero (Colombian Spanish slang for bud, bro, best friend, stay with me, we’ll return to this), my main Maine parcero, J for Josh, has a widely known secret hidden talent.

He bakes great cakes.

One of the things you could truly be missing in life, one of the only things, frankly, is a great friend who can whip up a delicious cake, on a whim.

You don’t know you have it until you realize you miss it.

I remember just last week, a sugared slice of a mountain of sponge and meringue and berries was set in front of me, and as I raised my fork to my mouth, a fork piled with cake, I’m sure I said something benign yet also slightly asinine, as I am wont to do, something like “this looks good,” to which J replied with a smirk, “there are hardly any ingredients in this,” and we proceeded to stuff our faces.

Sometimes when I’m walking around my neighborhood in Portland, on a brisk fall day, I daydream of carrot cake, which I believe mixes comfortably with the aesthetics of Octobers in Maine, twining sweaters and scarves and crispy leaves and Everything Everywhere Pumpkin Spice, and if I am out walking in Portland, it’s usually toward a coffee shop which, unsurprisingly, serves a sweet slice, or two of, you guessed it…

Nobody has ever asked me this, but if I were ever to be asked, “what kind of cake do you see yourself as?”, I might say carrot cake.

I could readily describe myself as a mess of spices, earthy bits and nutty pieces, sweet raisins and roots baked together, smooshed within the layers of a cake, welded mounds of sugar and spice, all hidden under a smooth cream cheese frosting.

I will explain why this speaks to me.

Adopted, I am, Latino into white, sudamericano con familia gringa.

Born in Colombia, raised and grown in midcoast Maine.

My luck of the draw, geographically speaking, although my family is quite lovely.

Often, growing up around Belfast, I was one of the very few brown kids, if not the only one, a raisin in the sun.

It was quite solitary sometimes, and although there were always friends, family, and parceros around, still I felt out of place.

I remember I had one friend, my buddy Julio, in seventh grade, we stuck together in our junior high, and sat next to each other in our classes, because sí.

But then he left, and I left soon after.

Now, coming back to Maine after years gone, I am happy to see more raisins out in the sun, walking, chatting, clumping, playing, laughing and living around this neck of the woods.

Enough raisins to fill a sweet carrot cake.

It’s an identity thing.

Also, no two carrot cakes have ever tasted the same, to me, so that’s important, as well.

I spent several years in the city of Bogotá, Colombia, teaching ESL/ELL (English as a Second/Learned Language) at a university filled with elite, snobby gomelos, Colombian Spanish slang for upper-crust young Bogotanos.

My students and I got along well, we were always on great terms, and they had a cute nickname, an apodo, for me.

Chocorramo.

A Chocorramo is a classic Colombian packaged dessert, a small cake, a simple, bland, chalky, vanilla brick of a pastry, covered by a thin layer of sugary chocolate frosting.

I will explain why this speaks to me.

To my Colombian students, because of my adoption, I am, endearingly, Chocorramo, as on the outside, I appear totally Colombian, costeño, even, from the Caribbean coast, definitely South American, normal.

But on the inside, I’m just another chalky bland gringo.

Chocorramo.

It’s an identity thing.

My main Colombian parcero (see, we circled back), J for Javi, has a fun little habit.

Whenever I am back in Colombia, J and I go trekking, road-tripping through the mountainous, lush Colombian countryside in his petite city-Audi, and whenever we stop at a local store to stock up on Gatorade, empanadas, Doritos, Coca-Cola, J always buys a mini Chocorramo, which he tosses at me with a knowing wink.

“¡Hola, Chocorramo!”

If you know, then you know.

Another wonderful, pleasurable moment, specific only to me, I believe, is when I get sent photos of cakes, the baked kind, you know.

Sometimes, from Maine to Colombia, J for Josh might send photos of Cakes-in-Process that he has whipped up, back home, on a whim.

Sometimes, from Colombia to Maine, J for Javi and my other in-the-know parceros will send me snaps of wrapped snacks, Chocorramos to be exact, that they have bought at some local store, or some random street cart, back home, on a whim.

Sweet photos of sweets snapped by sweet people in my other homeland, to send to me where I am right now, always help get me through this weather.

Summer in Maine can only mean one thing: whoopie pies.

That summer sandwich of fluffy cream and puffy cookie, squashed muffin tops, hockey puck cakes usually flavored chocolate.

The classic cream, white marshmallow, is amazing if sweet, but there are so many more flavors.

Peanut butter whoopie pies, maple whoopie pies, red velvet whoopie pies, strawberry whoopie pies, blueberry whoopie pies, banana bread whoopie pies, gingerbread whoopie pies, pumpkin whoopie pies, all-chocolate whoop—

At this point, the bottom of the fourth journal page of handwritten prose was ripped, and the meditation on identity and pastry was lost within the torn edge of paper. But what I did hold in my hands, well, certainly was something. I carefully refolded the pages, these precious diary pieces back up and inserted them into the envelope. Who, why? I stared out my kitchen window, at the snow fluttering and twisting through the gray sky. Where, when? January under Bear Hill. Reading so much about food at this time of day had made my stomach rumble, but there was no cake in my fridge. There was a single piece of pie, though. Strawberry rhubarb. Left over from something. Sweet and bittersweet memories for my tastebuds. The chilled slice was sturdy enough to lift right off its small plate, held between my fingers. I stood there, eating my slice of pie, staring through the kitchen window, through the snow, through the month of January in Maine. Bear Hill. This envelope, my door, this morning. Memories. Secrets. History. Identity. Pie. Cake. Home.

Good morning from eastern Maine, where this week, if I’m being perfectly honest, not a lot happened to me personally. I was sick all weekend. It snowed. I got an oil change. I gave my dog a bath. Oh! I did more digging in my ancient external hard drive and unearthed some more old photos, as seen in the featured image in this post. Bangor-area graffiti, circa 2006-2008. I’ll share some more of these over the coming months. Otherwise, though: a wet, dreary late March week. Give me sunshine, please.

• Welp, they talked a lot about how crime is rampant in Maine, a state that has consistently ranked as one of if not THE safest in the nation, and they managed to blame Democrats and immigrants for everything else they perceive as bad. One thing they did not do at the Republican gubernatorial debate in Bangor this week, though: award the winner a sword.

• I am not generally a board game person - I do not excel at learning lots of new rules very quickly - but I think this lobster fishing board game created by two Waldo County residents looks extremely adorable.

• Sing it with me, people! 🎶They paved the old Bangor Drive-In, and put up a $17.5 million Amazon warehouse. Shoooo bop bop bop bop!🎶

• We’re not getting a new Bangor Parks & Recreation facility, at least not anytime soon. Bangor’s kids and seniors can enjoy the asbestos and cramped quarters and bad location and 1950s Cold War-era vibe of the current headquarters for years longer!

• A movie reboot of “Murder, She Wrote” starring Jamie Lee Curtis as coastal Maine’s favorite fictional amateur sleuth? Sign me up.

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Every week I peruse Bangor Daily News stories in the newspapers.com archive from issues published 20, 30, 40, 50 and up to 120 years ago. Usually, I’m looking for big anniversaries, notable moments, quirky anecdotes, ways to compare and contrast the present with the past and bits of crowd-pleasing nostalgia. Sometimes, though, I’m just struck by the stories contained on an entire page, like this one published 30 years ago, on March 29, 1996. Nearly every story on this page reflects something that is different now. We adopted term limits for Maine legislators in November 1996. Maine privatized liquor stores in 2003. The Bangor Garden Show ended in 2010. Maine’s education standards have been updated and amended multiple times. The only thing that’s still sort of true is the fact that some people still want to pretend that LGBTQ+ people don’t exist or believe they are bad for some bizarre reason, and don’t want them talked about in schools. And I wonder what happened to that kid at Hermon High School that tried to run over the principal.

Music & Dance

March 26: Swingmatism, jazz ensemble, 6:30 p.m., Bangor Public Library, Bangor

March 27: Bangor Contradance feat. Beat Bucket and caller Chris Ricciotti, 6 p.m., UU Church, Park Street, Bangor

March 27: Contradance feat. BAMU and caller Alice Slater, 7 p.m., Stonington Opera House, Stonington

March 27: Classic Albums Live performs the Eagles’ greatest hits, 7 p.m., Collins Center for the Arts, University of Maine, Orono

March 27: Subsonic Vibes electronic night feat. DJs Witty Bop, Betty Bop, UG and Jephirsun Danger, 9 p.m., The Old Town Theatre, Old Town

March 28: Last Saturday at the Legion feat. Quantum, Asa Irons and The White Falcons, 7 p.m., American Legion Hall, Belfast

March 28: Orono Contradance feat. Tough End String Band and caller Chrissy Fowler, 7 p.m., Keith Anderson Community Center, Orono

March 28: Spring Eclipse Metal Festival feat. Dead In Your Eyes, Viqueen, Krull, Wormhole, Earthwyrm, Castle Crusher and The Burial Curse, 4 p.m., Hey Sailor, Searsport

March 28: Trey Songz, 8 p.m., Cross Insurance Center, Bangor

March 29: Classical Uprising presents “Passion for the Planet,” 3 p.m., Gracie Theatre, Husson University, Bangor

March 29: The Met Live in HD presents “Tristan und Isolde,” noon, Collins Center for the Arts, University of Maine, Orono

March 29: Isidore String Quartet, 3 p.m., First Congregational Church of Blue Hill, Blue Hill

Theater & Comedy

March 26-29: Grand Players present “Little Women: The Musical,” daily at the Grand Theatre, Ellsworth

March 26-29: Belfast Maskers presents “Below the Belt,” new play, 7 p.m. nightly and 2 p.m. Sunday, Basil Burwell Community Theatre, Belfast

March 27: High Stakes House of Comedy presents Annie Powell, Dennis Price and Adam Hatch, 8 p.m., Hollywood Casino, Bangor

March 28: Live recording of “It’s Your Funeral” podcast, 7 p.m., Next Generation Theatre, Brewer

Art, Books, Film & Culture

March 26: “A Guide to Local Government,” presentation by the League of Women Voters Maine, 6:30 p.m., Blue Hill Public Library, Blue Hill

March 26: Discussion group on the book “The Anxious Generation” by Jonathan Haidt, 5:30 p.m., Edythe Dyer Library, Hampden

March 27: Screening of “Hamilton: An American Musical,” 3:30 p.m., Blue Hill Public Library, Blue Hill

March 27: Preview screening of Ken Burns’ “Henry David Thoreau,” 7 p.m., Gracie Theatre, Husson University, Bangor

March 29: Points North Recovery Film Series screens “A Phantom Song” and “Recovery in Maine: Wabanaki Voices,” 3 p.m., Center Theatre, Dover-Foxcroft

March 30: “Why bowling balls end up in our recycling bins (and what state lawmakers are doing about it),” presentation by Erin Victor, 3 p.m., Norman Smith Hall, University of Maine, Orono

March 31: Opera House Arts Film Club screening of “Dr. Strangelove,” 6 p.m., Stonington Opera House, Stonington

March 31: “Hungry Now,” documentary screening from Waldo County Bounty, 6:30 p.m., Colonial Theatre, Belfast

April 1: “Phenomenal Spring,” storytelling with Danielle D’Auria, Bob Duchesne, Chuck Loring and Aislinn Sarnacki, 6:30 p.m., Bangor Public Library, Bangor

Fairs, Festivals, Markets, Outdoors & Misc.

March 26-29: Maine Science Festival; panels, workshops, demonstrations and other events throughout downtown Bangor; mainesciencefestival.org.

March 28: 45th annual St. George River Race, pickup starts at 8:30 a.m., downtown Searsmont; register for race here

March 28: Guided early spring nature walk, 3 p.m., Fields Pond Audubon Center, Holden

March 29: Seed Swap and Scion Exchange, 12-4 p.m., MOFGA headquarters, Unity

The Final Four of the March Madness of Maine Characters has arrived, and quite frankly, this is not how I expected things to go. I really thought both Pennywise and Bananas T. Bear would make it quite a bit farther, and I did not anticipate Charlotte the Spider and Joe Bornstein making it as far as they have. But, here we are, friends: nearly at the end of this month-long journey, and wow, we’ve learned almost nothing. Exactly as I’d hoped. Here are your penultimate matchups to vote on!

Joe Bornstein vs. Joshua Chamberlain

I’ll tell you one thing: they both mean business.

Paul Bunyan vs. Charlotte the Spider

I really appreciate the fact that the physically largest - well, other than Cassie the Casco Bay Sea Monster, I guess - character in this whole thing will be taking on the physically smallest one. Vote with your hearts, folks.

As an engineer, Old Town resident Bryan Wells tends to look at things through a practical, process-oriented lens. That’s why astrophotography appealed to him as a hobby - it takes many days of planning to capture a good image of a galaxy or nebula, from careful tracking of the weather to ensure a cloud-free sky, to the exacting precision with which the telescope and camera must be positioned in order to track the object being photographed.

Once that delicate process is over, however, Wells can’t help but sit back and reflect on the meaning of it all. Sitting in his observatory on the 1,058-acre demonstration woodlot straddling the town line between Milford and Greenfield that he and his late wife, Pam, maintained for more than 20 years, it’s hard not to look around at the land, the trees, the wildlife and the sky and think about what it all means.

“She’s always kind of in the background when I’m out here,” Wells said of Pam, who died in June 2025 after a years-long battle with primary progressive aphasia. “It’s nice, and it’s also sad. I have to grieve, but I also have to live. The land is so connected to her. Sharing it with people is part of the process.”

Wells’ brilliantly colored and highly detailed images of deep space objects will be on display on March 28 at the 2026 Maine Science Festival, at the Cross Insurance Center in Bangor, in an exhibit sponsored by the Forest Society of Maine. Wells will also give a presentation on the astrophotography process at 1:30 p.m. that day.

Bryan and Pam bought what they would come to call Wells Demonstration Forest in 2004. At the time, the land had been clear-cut, with all the valuable timber taken by logging companies with little regard for best ecological practices. Pam Wells, a Bangor native, had spent her life dreaming of being a forester, but sexism in the forestry field discouraged her from studying it when she was at the University of Maine in the late 1970s. When she and Bryan bought the woodlot in 2004, it was a chance to return to that dream - and build a model for forest restoration that students and the community could learn from.

The Wells’ spent the better part of 20 years painstakingly restoring the forest alongside a team of local forestry professionals and volunteers, and building trails so the public could visit. Pam Wells also worked specifically with women, teaching them how to operate chainsaws and learn the basics of forestry - many of whom went on to become foresters themselves. For their efforts, the couple were named the Maine Forest Service’s Tree Farmers of the Year for 2017.

Today, Wells Demonstration Forest has a thriving ecosystem, with an array of mammals and birds now making the land their home, and the Sunkhaze Stream - the Wells’ forest abuts Sunkhaze Meadows National Wildlife Refuge - running clean and clear through it.

Bryan Wells intends to carry on his wife’s legacy as a forester by maintaining the partnerships the couple had already established. A conservation easement on their forest is in the process of being purchased by the Forest Society of Maine, a Bangor-based nonprofit which manages hundreds of thousands of acres of forest land across Maine, permanently protecting it from development.

“The goal is always to keep forests intact and from being fragmented, to protect them from development and to prevent sprawl,” he said. “It also has the added bonus of protecting the dark skies we have in Maine, which helps everyone - including wildlife. And, well, it’s great for astrophotography too, though that’s just a nice bonus for me personally.”

Pam and Bryan shared many passions, one of which was photography. Almost as soon as they bought the forest they began photographing the flora and fauna there, all documented on their photography website, Oakleafs Studio. In 2014, Bryan Wells took it a step further and purchased a telescope and camera setup, with the intention of capturing the night sky.

Now, more than a decade into learning how to photograph deep space, Wells’ astrophotography hobby has grown from a telescope and camera in his backyard to a full-on solar-powered observatory at the woodlot, with its own building and permanent setup utilizing the latest technology. Wells is in the process of building a camp next door to the observatory, so he can spend the night out there in the warmer months.

“It’s a process that requires a lot of patience. It’s a very long exposure. You have to wait for a cloudless night, and you want to do it on a new moon so there’s no moonlight. That means there’s usually only five to six opportunities a year to get something really great,” Wells said. “Everything has to go right in order to make it happen.”

In the past year Wells has spent a lot of time reflecting and reconnecting with his spirituality. He is in the beginning stages of exploring how to build a low-impact campsite on the woodlot, where he could host summertime retreats for people interested in nature, spirituality and photography. Sharing their land - and Pam’s legacy - is important to him, whether it’s through forestry practices, capturing images of wildlife and the night sky, or simply experiencing nature.

“When you hear a coyote howl or an owl call, it does have a spiritual element to it,” Wells said. “I think the awe I feel is less about the vastness of the universe, and more about how lucky I am that I am sitting on my land, using a telescope that didn’t exist 10 years ago. I think about all the things that had to happen in order for me to be here, doing what I’m doing. I think about the life Pam and I built. So, it’s not so much how insignificant I am with all the trillions of stars. It’s more about how lucky I am to be here.”

Good morning from eastern Maine, where this week, I inadvertently shared a piece of AI slop on one of my social media feeds; Godzilla salsa dancing, if you must know. Upon realizing that I’d shared something so cringe, I immediately deleted the post and then sat in my shame for a solid five minutes, reflecting on having violated my personal commitment to being an AI hater 100 percent of the time, and on our general fallibility as human beings, so easily seduced by fleeting pleasures. What a time to be alive. You have my solemn word that nothing you see or read here - NOTHING - will ever be written or produced by anybody other than a human. Unless I manage to finally teach my dog to learn how to read.

• Any update on the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum heist is big news to me - it’s perhaps my very favorite unsolved true crime story of all time. This Boston Globe article provides a small but telling new wrinkle to the case; namely, that a mobster called Meatball said some of the priceless paintings were taken to Philadelphia in a chicken truck. Some of the others, as we know, may have ended up in a farmhouse in Maine. Will we ever know what truly happened to those purloined paintings? Maybe. Probably not.

• Have you been to the new Bangor Marden’s yet? I haven’t yet. I hear it’s real clean. I hear the deals are… fine. I may venture out there this weekend. Sound off in the comments if you’ve made the trek!

• Someone should write a trend piece on the explosion of vintage and upcycled clothing and home goods shops in downtown Bangor - Red Rabbit, Log Jam, Cool Girl and now A Vintage Vixen, which opens next week on Harlow Street. I guess that someone would be me, wouldn’t it? Welp: here’s the piece! This is the piece.

• Also exciting news: The Emporium Spooky Goods is moving from its current State Street location in downtown Bangor to a new, larger location on Main Street! The State Street shop is closing in a few days and the business will reopen on May 1 in expanded digs with some cool, spooky new offerings. More info to come!

• Big congrats to our friend and my former BDN colleague Sarah Walker Caron on the publication of her TENTH book! TENTH! This woman has written a whopping TEN cookbooks and other books, including her most recent, “The Pizza Planet Cookbook,” out just this week. It’s themed to the restaurant featured in the “Toy Story” movies - great timing, since “Toy Story 5” is coming out this June! It’s available wherever books are sold.

• I had a fun time watching the abandoned, condemned house kitty corner from our house get torn down last week. Here’s hoping the new owners build new housing there, and don’t just leave it as an empty lot.

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With the news that nurses at Northern Light Eastern Maine Medical Center are preparing to strike on March 23 in protest of a contract that doesn’t address staffing ratios, health insurance benefits and pay for women’s health nurses, it’s worth noting that the strike will fall during a historic week for the nurse’s union at EMMC. This week marks the 50th anniversary of EMMC nurses unionizing altogether - the vote to unionize was cast on Thursday, March 18, 1976. 50 years later, they’re still fighting for fair treatment for nurses, and for the patients they care for. Anyone that’s ever spent any time in a hospital knows that it’s the nurses that make our entire healthcare system function. Give them everything. Always.

Music & Dance

March 20: Fully Funktional, 6 p.m., Marshall Wharf Brewing Company, Belfast

March 21: Celtic band Doolally, 2 p.m., Bangor Public Library, Bangor

March 21: Bangor Celtic Crossroads presents Cecilia, 7 p.m., Next Generation Theatre, Brewer

March 21: The Mallett Brothers Band, 7:30 p.m., Gracie Theatre, Husson University, Bangor

March 21: David Fiuczynski’s KIF Trio, Gabriel Marin and Mike Billings, 7 p.m., a night of deep jazz and funk, Bodywise Pilates, Harlow St., Bangor

March 21: Goblin Brain, Manismurder, Trixie, Self Love and Horse Funeral, 7 p.m., The Old Town Theatre, Old Town

March 21: Maine Metal Night with Revenant, Castle Crusher and Militia, 7 p.m., Hey Sailor, Searsport

March 22: Bangor Symphony Orchestra Masterworks series presents “The Rite of Spring,” 3 p.m., Collins Center for the Arts, University of Maine, Orono

Theatre & Comedy

March 19-22: Belfast Maskers presents “Below the Belt,” new play, 7 p.m. nightly and 2 p.m. Sunday, Basil Burwell Community Theatre, Belfast

March 20-22: ImprovAcadia and PTC present “A Kick In Your Cabot Cove,” The Stage Door, Bangor

March 21: PTC Haunting Hour, live readings of horror stories, 9 p.m., The Stage Door, Bangor

March 20-22: New Surry Theatre presents “The Roommate,” daily at Blue Hill Town Hall, Blue Hill

Art, Books, Film & Culture

March 19: “How’s the Water Quality In Our Bay?” presentation by Joy Bowles, 6:30 p.m., Belfast Free Library, Belfast

March 19: “You Are Not Your Thoughts,” live collaborative art showcase w. Brian Cattelle and DJ Ice Ghost, 6 p.m., Red Rabbit Bazaar, Bangor

March 20: Book talk and signing with author Dan Simon for his new book, “Ashland,” 7 p.m., Bookspace, Columbia Street, Bangor

March 21: Blue Hill Books screens “Anna Karenina” (2012), 2:30 p.m., Blue Hill Public Library, Blue Hill

March 21: Independent Lens Pop-Up: “The Inquisitor,” documentary on Black feminist icon Barbara Jordan, 2 p.m., Ellsworth Public Library, Ellsworth

March 23: “Maine’s PFAS Crisis: A Comprehensive Policy Review,” 3 p.m., Norman Smith Hall, University of Maine, Orono

March 23: Mary Morton Cowan discusses her book, “Timberrr! A History of Logging in New England,” 5 p.m., The Barn at Woodlawn, Ellsworth

March 24: Opera House Arts Film Club screens “On The Waterfront,” 6 p.m., Stonington Opera House, Stonington

March 24: “Little Giant: A Short Film, a Book, and a Conversation among Storytellers about Creative Courage,” 6:30 p.m., Belfast Free Library, Belfast

March 24: Finocchi Films screens “Moonstruck,” 6:30 p.m., Colonial Theatre, Belfast

March 25: Derry-Free Horror Book Club reads “Trad Wife” by Saratoga Schaefer, 7:30 p.m., Bookspace, Columbia Street, Bangor

Fairs, Festivals, Markets, Outdoors & Misc.

March 20-22: Eastern Maine Sportsmen’s Show, all weekend, Field House, University of Maine, Orono

March 21: Annual Jigsaw Puzzle Solving Competition, starting at 10:30 a.m., Bangor Public Library, Bangor

March 21: Ellsworth Garden Club annual seed swap, gardening advice panel and book sale, 10 a.m., Ellsworth Public Library, Ellsworth

March 21: Community Expo and Kid’s Carnival, 10 a.m.-2 p.m., Hampden Academy, Hampden

March 21: Phoenix Pro Wrestling, 5:30 p.m., Bangor Parks & Recreation headquarters, Bangor

March 21-22: Maine Maple Weekend, sugarhouses open and events planned statewide; full list of events here

The March Madness of Maine Characters continues! Your Elite Eight has arrived, and wow, there were some SERIOUS upsets during this last round. Thankfully, we’re also far enough along in this thing that it’s reasonable now to use Substack’s built in POLLS for voting. Take a look at who has made it this far in this landmark competition, and cast your votes!

Joe Bornstein vs. Joey Gamache

I honestly did not expect Joey Gamache to make it as far as he has in this competition, and I’m also surprised he managed to defeat a sea monster. But, just as Rocky Balboa beat Ivan Drago and Clubber Land, Gamache came out on top. Now, though, he must face Joe Bornstein, who, through the power of the legal system, will sue the ever-loving shit out of him.

Red October vs. Joshua Chamberlain

I also did not expect Joshua Chamberlain to defeat Pennywise, perhaps the most iconic Maine villain of all time. But, BAYONETS is too powerful a spell, and Chamberlain made it through. Can he take on Red October, who managed to win over Maine country legend Dick Curless?

Marden’s Lady vs. Paul Bunyan

I don’t even have anything clever to say about this matchup. It’s just icon v. icon. I leave it up to you, dear reader.

Charlotte the Spider vs. A Lobster

You know, lobsters are actually very closely related to spiders! It’s arthropod v. arthropod in this round. Which is a stronger ability - a pinchy pinchy pinch from a lobster, or calligraphy and wisdom from a sentient spider?

For most of my life, I’ve feared math. I don’t mean paying bills or figuring out a tip or anything like that - I mean math math. Algebra. Geometry. Numbers and symbols on a piece of paper, totally disconnected from my reality. I look at them, and suddenly, I’m 11 years old, paralyzed with anxiety, unable to make sense of any of it. I simply do not speak the language. I can feel the palpable annoyance of my sixth grade math teacher as she leans over my shoulder to tell me I’m wrong. I long to run outside and read a book or practice my clarinet or do literally anything else. Everyone tells me I’m a smart kid, but in math class, I feel truly stupid. I will get a few Fs and barely manage C’s and D’s in math throughout my entire educational career - I’ll get A’s in everything else, mind you - and as soon as my second math requirement in college is done, I will give math two emphatic middle fingers and leave it in the dust forever.

Except that as I get older, my total rejection of math will begin to morph into something like curiosity, or perhaps jealousy. It’s not fair that an entire branch of knowledge is inaccessible to me! Why shouldn’t I be able to understand some of these concepts? A large part of my identity is wrapped up in she’s a smart kid. One night in 2007, while sitting around the living room in the beautiful hippie Orono house I shared with a variety of graduate students and visiting professors, a loquacious guy with green hair and a math PhD explained to me [I’m wildly paraphrasing] that math is not numbers on a page, but the mysterious backbone of the cosmos, that gives structure to reality and reveals unceasing wonders. It’s not impossible - in fact, it can be fun. While I wouldn’t say I’m “good at math” now, I can say that I could explain a handful of formulae or concepts in math and wouldn’t be completely wrong and wouldn’t have a panic attack while doing it. I could even win on Numberwang. That’s big progress for me, folks.

Nearly 20 years later I was doomscrolling through Instagram and stumbled across a post about a book released last fall called “Math Cats,” which explains complex mathematical concepts through cats being cats and a breathtaking array of puns. The author, Washington County native Daniel Look, was the green-haired guy who changed my entire perspective on math that night in 2007. I tracked him down at St. Lawrence University in Canton, New York, where he is a math professor, and last week we talked about growing up Down East, cats, Spongebob and, yes, math.

First off, tell me about growing up in Harrington. Was it all blueberries and lobster? What was your family like?

I would say we were like most other families in Washington County - seasonal jobs, fishing industry, agriculture, logging, working class. I had a grandfather who was a lobsterman. I had a grandmother who packed sardines. My dad was an over the road truck driver, and my mom packed fish too. Fish packing was big business. In fact, there’s this relatively famous sculpture of a woman sardine packing that you can buy somewhere Down East. That’s my grandmother.

Anyway, I’d say I had a very typical childhood for someone in that part of Maine. Spent a lot of time outdoors. Did a lot of the things you’d expect. I would say that advanced education probably wasn’t a primary interest of most of my peers. Now, to be clear - my parents were very, very smart and very, very encouraging. My dad was constantly reading. He could fix anything. I think there’s a very strong tradition of Mainers really valuing learning even if they don’t pursue an education. But I do think that a lot of people had their career paths picked out for them very early on - fishing, agriculture, whatever it might be. And then there’s me, who as soon as I knew what college was, I was like “That’s for me!”

How did you know that math was your thing? It doesn’t seem like you grew up in an environment that produces a ton of mathematicians!

The only person in my family that went to college was my other grandmother, who got a degree and was a teacher. She noticed from a very early age that I was the one that loved to read, that preferred music and video games and wasn’t exactly cut out to be a mechanic or something. That said, I don’t remember having a particular love for math at the time, even though that was my best subject. It was more just a love for learning and being in school.

I think the thing that really moved me toward math as a career was the fact that my dad went to the same church as the president of the University of Maine at time, Dale Lick, who was a mathematician. He gave me a copy of an algebra book he had written, and he signed it “To my fellow mathematician.” I was 12, and I was like, “OK, that’s what I’m going to do.”

I too was a huge nerd in school, but for me, it was all about writing and reading and social studies and history. Math was the one area where I just could not make heads or tails of it. I completely dreaded it. It felt like a punishment. You’ve probably met a lot of people in your career that have similar feelings about math. What do you say to people like me, who want to understand it, but feel like they are completely incapable?

The first thing I ask is, “Who hurt you?” [laughs]. Seriously though, while this isn’t true for everybody, I think for a lot of people, it’s all about that one teacher who made you feel dumb, or who simply didn’t care to try to help. I also think a huge part of it is just how we teach and approach mathematics. We put so much focus on algebra, which is just not something most people will ever use. And we don’t tie our teaching of it to reality - or when we do, it’s not helpful. Some teachers will try to compare, say, graphing a parabola to how you’d shoot a basketball. Nobody is using math to make their shot better. They’re just playing basketball. It’s not actually helpful. In fact, you’re just trying to gaslight me into thinking math is useful by pretending that the quarterback is using it to throw the football, when we all know they’re not. We don’t do a good job of selling it - and when we do, it’s just not relatable or helpful at all.

That’s my biggest complaint - we give people the worst stuff to learn, and then if you go off track, then that’s basically the end of the line. We’d never teach reading that way. We wouldn’t say, “Oh, you hate reading Shakespeare. Guess that’s it for reading for you!” That’s almost a point of pride for some math teachers - my class is so hard that only a few of you will make it to the end. That’s incredibly discouraging! English teachers and professors want you to love reading. Math should be the same. And then there’s the whole fact that women and girls have been historically made to feel like math and science aren’t for them. That has really, really hurt us. I think some of that is starting to change, but there’s still a long way to go.

Is that why you wrote a book about how cats can help explain complex ideas in math?

Yeah, absolutely! If I’m in a bar or something, that’s how I’m going to talk about math if it gets brought up in conversation. Especially if the first thing out of that person’s mouth is “Oh, I hate math.” I can’t tell you how many times the first thing someone says when I tell them I’m a mathematician is “Oh wow, I hate math!” I definitely don’t want that to be the case.

My whole thing is to come up with examples that require zero equations that you can explain at a bar. For instance, did you know that if you have 26 people in a room, there’s a more than 50 percent chance that two of them have the exact same birthday? You might think you’d need 170 people for that to be true, or half the dates in a year, but that’s not true. It’s a probability question. Or, for example, the fact that if you look at a map, you will find that you will never need more than four colors for each state or country. Four is always sufficient. That’s a really hard proof, actually, the four color theorem. I don’t know how to do it. But I don’t need to know how to do the proof to enjoy the theory.

I’ve actually heard of that one! The four color map one. Now that I think about it, there’s a bunch of things like that I’ve heard of, and that I think I kind of understand! Maybe I’m not as scared of math as I think I am.

It’s fun math! You don’t even need to be good at math to understand it, and it’s such a great way to start to understand the larger concepts behind things. Look at the Fibonacci sequence. The spirals in it always work out to consecutive numbers, and it is everywhere in nature. The pine cone, the state flower of Maine, that’s got Fibonacci spirals. So doesn’t a pineapple. That’s how you know Spongebob doesn’t actually live in a pineapple under the sea - it doesn’t have the right number of spirals. It may look like a pineapple, but that’s not a pineapple.

Spongebob is a fraud! Or, at least, whoever he bought his house from is. I know you’re such a huge pop culture fiend, and that’s a huge part of how you communicate and educate in a way that’s relatable. Why did you choose cats as the way to explain math concepts? Why not, say, dogs? Cartoon characters?

With cats, as it turns out, I was actually approached about doing this book. An editor for Running Press knew me and knew I loved cats [Ed. note: Dan and his wife have four cats; Conan T. Cat, Meow Meow, SpaghettiOs, and Mrs. Waffles]. He reached out to see if I was interested in doing a book on math-cat memes from social media, which morphed into “Math Cats.” In terms of dogs… I do joke about writing a follow-up titled “Pupular Mathematics.”

Really, though, one of my favorite things to do when I’m talking to someone, anyone, about math, is to ask them to name a topic or subject - literally anything - and I’ll find some way to connect it back to math. Books, for example - there’s a field of study called stylometry, where you use statistical analysis to analyze writing. I did an analysis of all the Nancy Drew novels - there are over 600 of them, and they are written by tons of different people under the same pen name. We put all of them through a computer and went hunting like a truffle pig for all the interesting factoids we could pull out of it. That’s math!

Sometimes all it takes is to just change the angle of attack with how you think about things. Suddenly it starts to make sense.

It’s what H.P. Lovecraft calls your “cosmic angle of regarding.” Side note: I’m getting a new tattoo next week, and it’s inspired by that. I have 20 tattoos and they’re all math tattoos. I also have a tattoo of President Andrew Garfield proving the Pythagorean theorem. I love asking people if they want to see my Garfield tattoo, and because I’m the cat guy, they’re surprised to see it’s all just geometry.

Last question: Do you make it back to Maine very often? How has Washington County changed from when you were growing up there in the 1980s?

I do! Every year I go see my extended family in Old Orchard Beach, and my brother lives in Jonesport, so there’s definitely still a connection. I think the thing that really surprises me in a lot of ways whenever I drive through Harrington or the rest of Washington County is how little it’s actually changed. It feels really nice to me, oddly enough. I’m sure there are little things that have changed, but it really does not feel all that different from when I was growing up. The landscape is pretty much exactly the same. I find that really comforting.

Good morning from eastern Maine, where alas, many of us this week fell victim to nature’s cruelest joke; the fleeting beauty and then crushing heartbreak of that earliest herald of warmer weather: False Spring. Tuesday was glorious - Bangor smashed a nearly 50-year high temp record. If people ran outdoors naked I wouldn’t blame them a bit. We then immediately plunged back into more seasonable temps and the dreariest gray and brown imaginable. At least I’ve got the next round of March Madness of Maine Characters to look forward to. The full list of matchups is at the bottom of this post!

• So, look, all my feelings on football and beauty pageants and very young women dating/marrying very old and rich men aside, I am going to go ahead and say that the dress that Mainer Jordon Hudson (Bill Belichick’s girlfriend ICYMI) wore to this year’s Maine Fisherman’s Forum is 100 percent iconic. Hudson said the dress was a collab between designer Runa Raay, sustainability organization Rozalia Project, and used 36 pounds of fishing rope recovered off Port Clyde. I love it.

• “On the upside, we’re no longer considered blighted.” It’s the little things, Bangor. It’s the little things. You know: like Arby’s coming back.

• Also coming back (I assume): Sanjeeva’s hot sauce, a longtime favorite of ours from Serendib, the Sri Lankan-Indian restaurant in Ellsworth that we loved and which closed in December. Owners Sanjeena and Menemsha are instead buying the old State Street Grocery and bringing much of their delicious food there instead, for takeout and grab and go! I’m thrilled. That hot sauce rules.

• Just a reminder here that the human remains and the 532 objects that the University of Maine will be returning to the Wabanaki tribes that they belong to only scratches the surface of the other artifacts currently possessed by various institutions that are owed to Indigenous peoples all over the country and the world. Anti-colonialism starts at home!

• This is a beautiful, heartbreaking piece of journalism. I grew up in this part of Waldo County, and all throughout my childhood and teenage years I absolutely knew kids and families like the one in this story, where cycles of abuse and poverty shape every aspect of their lives. I also know many, many amazing Maine women, who burn so bright you feel it even when you’re not in their physical presence. It all hurts different but related parts of your heart.

• Nobody asked, but here are my predictions for who I think will win, and who I think should win the top awards at the Oscars this weekend. BEST ACTOR Will win: Timmy Tim Chevrolet / Should win: Michael B. Jordan or Ethan Hawke. BEST ACTRESS Will win: Jessie Buckley / Should win: Rose Byrne. BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Will win: Stellan Skarsgard / Should win: Stellan Skarsgard or Delroy Lindo. BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS Will win: Amy Madigan / Should win: Amy Madigan. BEST DIRECTOR Will win: Paul Thomas Anderson / Should win: 100 percent toss up between PTA and Ryan Coogler. BEST PICTURE Will win: “One Battle After Another” / Should win: OBAA, or “Sinners.”

These sorts of economic rankings among towns and regions in Maine are still pretty common fodder for news outlets, and certainly provoke plenty of discussion as to the whys and hows that one place is doing better than another. But in this ranking published 40 years ago in 1986, there are some pretty start changes - namely the dramatic change in the fortunes of the Millinocket region and, for that matter, all the towns in this list that were once home to thriving millworking communities. Towns like Ashland, Rumford and Lincoln look very different these days than they did in 1986, while cities like Belfast and Brunswick have risen dramatically in rankings like this.

Music & Dance

March 13: Vanity Crisis, Darth Brandon, Isaac Raven and Widow’s Club, 8 p.m., Red Rabbit Bazaar, Bangor

March 14: Dylan Scott and 12/OC, 7 p.m., Cross Insurance Center, Bangor

March 14: Candy Striper Death Orgy, Psycho, Earthwyrm and Wormhole, 7 p.m., The Old Town Theatre, Old Town

March 14: Loose Cannon Jug Band, 6:30 p.m., Emlen Hall at The Bay School, Blue Hill

March 14: The Kenya Hall Band, 7 p.m., The Underground Lounge, Belfast

March 15: Bailey’s Mistake, Celtic folk band, 5 p.m., Hey Sailor, Searsport

March 15: A Far Cry, string ensemble, 3 p.m., Collins Center for the Arts, University of Maine, Orono

March 15: St. Patrick’s Day celebration with The Oystermen, 5 p.m., Marshall Wharf Brewing Company, Belfast

March 17: St. Patrick’s Day celebration, full day of music starting at 6 a.m., Paddy Murphy’s Bangor

March 17: St. Patrick’s Day celebration with The Shitty Rolling Stones, 11 a.m.-all day, Black Moon Public House, Ellsworth

March 17: St. Patrick’s Day celebration with Solas, 7 p.m., Collins Center for the Arts, University of Maine, Orono

Theatre & Comedy

March 13: Grand Kyiv Ballet presents “Giselle,” 7 p.m., Collins Center for the Arts, University of Maine, Orono

March 13-15: Gilbert & Sullivan Society of Maine presents “Princess Ida,” Grand Theatre, Ellsworth

March 13-15: New Surry Theatre presents “The Roommate,” daily at Blue Hill Town Hall, Blue Hill

March 14: Midcoast Shakespeare Studio presents “(Lady) Macbeth,” staged reading, 6 p.m., Waterfall Arts, Belfast

March 16: “Stomp,” 30th anniversary tour, 8 p.m., Cross Insurance Center, Bangor

Art, Books, Film & Culture

March 12: “Picasso and Braque Go to the Movies,” documentary screening and discussion, 6 p.m., Blue Hill Public Library, Blue Hill

March 14: Collaborative Community Art Project: Paint a square for our American flag mural, 2 p.m., Bangor Public Library, Bangor

March 17: “Green Cemeteries, Home Funerals and Much More,” talk by Chuck Lakin, 2 p.m., Bangor Public Library, Bangor

March 17: Belfast Garden Club presents “Maine’s Changing Climate: Historical Trends & Future Projections,” talk by Maine state climatologist Sean Birkel, noon, Belfast Free Library, Belfast

March 17: Opera House Arts Film Club screens “Casablanca,” 6 p.m. Stonington Opera House, Stonington

March 18: SCORE Northern Maine presents “Trademark and Patent Basics for Business Owners,” noon, Bangor Public Library, Bangor

March 18: “A Peace of Forest,” documentary screening, 7 p.m., Blue Hill Public Library, Blue Hill

Fairs, Festivals, Markets, Outdoors & Misc.

March 14: Pop-up children’s museum, 10 a.m.- 4 p.m., Penobscot Marine Museum, Searsport

March 14: Educational Sugarhouse and Sugarbush tours, 12-3 p.m. MOFGA HQ, Unity; register here.

March 14: “Pirate’s Plight,” murder mystery dinner, 5 p.m., Old Town-Orono YMCA, Old Town

March 14: Bangor Symphony Orchestra’s annual Symphony Soiree fundraiser, 6 p.m., Cross Insurance Center, Bangor

Time for our first update on the March Madness of Maine Characters bracket! I was genuinely surprised by some of the votes for this first round - and how close so many of them were! Last night I tallied up all our responses - thanks to everyone that took the time to fill out a bracket! - and counted each pick for the first round of matchups. The competitor with the most picks in each matchup will advance to the second round.

Please meet your Sweet Sixteen matchups in the first ever and possibly never again March Madness of Maine Characters! Want to vote in this round? Leave a comment here, message me on Substack, or email me at emilyburnham207 (at) gmail dot com.

Joe Bornstein vs. Bananas T. Bear

Which will it be? The beloved UMaine mascot who does funny dances and was also once (I cannot stress this enough) an actual live bear? Or the Portland lawyer who got you over $500,000 after your accident? Side note: someone asked me if it was the actual Joe Bornstein, the real lawyer who died years ago, or Joe Bornstein as portrayed by (equally dead) actor Robert Vaughn in countless TV commercials. My answer: yes.

Cassie the Sea Monster vs. Joey Gamache

Who knew there were so many fans of the Lewiston boxer that he’d defeat Ricky Craven? Joey will take on Cassie the Sea Monster. Will this take place on land or sea? Not sure. This does not seem like a fair fight, but I believe in them both.

Red October vs. Dick Curless

There is only one way Red October - a Soviet nuclear submarine abandoned in the Penobscot River - can be bested. And that’s through the power of song. Thankfully, Dick Curless is up to the task.

Pennywise vs. Joshua Chamberlain

Now this is an iconic matchup. If anybody has the sheer courage to take on a malevolent interdimensional being, it’s Joshua Chamberlain. BAYONETS, people. You’ll float too - but the 20th Maine will pop your balloons.

Marden’s Lady vs. Moxie Man

Sorry, Bert, and sorry Al: Readers picked two brand mascots to face each other in the next round. What’s it gonna be? A great deal from a surplus and salvage store? Or a soda that tastes like root beer with nickels in it?

Andre the Seal vs. Paul Bunyan

I’m sorry to say that Babe the Blue Ox got exactly zero votes in this matchup. Sorry, Babe - you’re always playing second fiddle to Paul. And while Slugger the Sea Dog did better, he still lost out to Andre the Seal. Can Andre take on Paul Bunyan? I’m rooting for the lil guy!

Carrie White vs. Charlotte the Spider

My hope in this matchup is that Charlotte’s sweet nature will disarm Carrie to the point that she’ll decide that maybe she doesn’t need to murder everyone with her mind. Having your name written in a spider web might go a long way to boosting Carrie’s self-esteem!

Gage Creed vs. A Lobster

Don’t let this matchup fool you: a little pinch pinch pinch is a much more deadly tool than you might expect.

200,000 people reportedly greeted Joseph Knowles when he arrived in Boston in October 1913, eager to see the man who’d spent more than eight weeks alone and mostly naked in the Maine wilderness, living off whatever he could hunt and forage in the woods.

When Knowles disappeared into the woods near Spencer Lake in far northern Somerset County in August of that year - surrounded by photographers and reporters - he was wearing nothing but a white cotton jockstrap. He told the crowd that he intended to document his experiences by leaving accounts written in charcoal on strips of bark, to be deposited and picked up in pre-arranged locations and then published.

By the time he emerged two months later just across the Maine border in the Eastern Townships of Quebec, wrapped in a bearskin and sporting shoes made of birch bark, he was a national phenomenon. His dispatches appeared in newspapers nationwide, telling tales of his wandering naked through the woods, surviving off berries and fish, crafting makeshift clothing and shelter out of bark and grass, and rubbing two sticks together to make fire.

The stories captivated a public already fascinated with characters like Tarzan, adventure novels by Jack London, and rugged figures like Teddy Roosevelt. To them, Knowles was at once a prime example of manliness, conquering the wilderness with only his skills and his wit - and an escapist fantasy of being stripped down to our animal instincts and becoming one with nature. A book, “Alone in the Wilderness,” soon followed, and then a movie of the same name, starring Knowles as himself. It was all quite romantic and exciting - and lucrative for Knowles, who at one point made $1,200 a week in speaking fees.

As the years went on, though, it became clear that many aspects of Knowles’ stories were a little far-fetched. Deeper reads of his memoir began to turn up inconsistencies. One journalist managed to examine the bearskin Knowles was wearing when he emerged from the woods and discovered bullet holes in it, and found a local trapper who said he sold Knowles the skin for $12. Knowles claimed to have trapped a bear in a pit and then killed it by beating it with a log - a feat seasoned hunters and trappers said at the time was near-impossible without some form of help or specialized tools.

It eventually emerged that Knowles - who claimed to have grown up in Maine and had once worked as a trapper and logger - and some colleagues had actually planned the entire stunt. Knowles worked as an illustrator for the Boston Post, the newspaper that first published his dispatches, and had concocted the plan to spend two months in the woods with a fellow Post journalist, Michael McKeough, who reporters speculated wrote Knowles’ memoir himself.

Furthermore, a journalist from a rival paper, the Boston American, made the bold claim that Knowles hadn’t survived alone in the woods at all, but instead had spent two months in relative comfort in a remote log cabin not far from where he first walked into the wilderness. Much later, a New Yorker article in 1938 confirmed that allegation, and offered further proof that McKeough was indeed the one who actually wrote the book. Knowles, however, did provide the illustrations. One thing was true about him: he was a gifted artist, and his charcoal sketches of his time in the Maine woods - and the illustrations he did in his later years of the American West - were by far the best things he ever produced.

As you might expect, Mainers reacted bemusedly to this latest story of a guy from the Boston area disappearing into the woods to show how badass and spiritually enlightened he is. More than one newspaper account scoffed openly about what a “great accomplishment” Knowles had achieved - like living in the woods for a couple months was some unprecedented feat. Making a big public deal about it was even worse. And then there was the greatest of sins: by claiming he’d trapped and killed a bear in September, Knowles had violated Maine law by hunting out of season. Is there anyone more reviled by outdoorspeople in Maine than a poacher?

Joseph Knowles is largely forgotten today. His story reads more like other carefully constructed hoaxes and faked memoirs from throughout history, both those based on a kernel of truth and then greatly embellished, and those entirely fabricated. There are many examples of white people pretending to be Indigenous, for instance, like Tim Barrus, who claimed to be a Navajo man named Nasdijj, or Archibald Belaney, a Canadian man who adopted the made-up Apache persona Grey Owl. Others pretend to have salacious backgrounds, like Michael Pelligrino, who claimed to be a forgotten son of the Gambino crime family and made $500,000 off a book deal, or James Frey, who fabricated nearly everything in his bestselling memoir, “A Million Little Pieces,” about his supposed years of substance abuse. One writer even managed to tell two fake stories: Laurel Rose Wilson, who pretended to be a victim of a nonexistent Satanic cult in her book “Satanic Underground,” and then years later, under a different assumed name, pretended to be a Holocaust survivor in another fake memoir.

In all of those cases, they seized upon some behavioral, cultural or historical phenomenon that grabs people’s attention and imagination (and their wallets, hopefully). In the case of Knowles, it was the near-universal appeal of the survival story, and of the fascination people have with the mysteries and dangers of Maine’s North Woods. Those stories remain popular to this day, whether it’s the unclothed survivalists on “Naked and Afraid” or Bear Grylls drinking his own pee or eating bugs on any of his TV shows.

Legions of people head into the woods in Maine each year to hunt, fish, paddle, hike and temporarily disappear into the largest undeveloped forest in the eastern U.S. Most return home safely; some get lost and nearly die, like 12-year-old Donn Fendler, as depicted in his (100 percent true) 1939 memoir “Lost on a Mountain in Maine”. Still others deliberately disappear in order to escape society, like the North Pond Hermit, a.k.a. Christopher Knight, who spent 27 years alone in the woods not by hunting and foraging, but by stealing food and supplies from nearby lakeside camps. Sure beats Knowles’ two months.

It’s much more thrilling and romantic to think someone is truly surviving in the woods, hunting and gathering and living off nature, than it is to think they’re performing for the cameras, or merely hanging out in a well-stocked cabin until it’s time to come back to society and get famous. The real stories - the ones that are not only true, but are truly incredible - often don’t end up getting told at all.

Good morning from eastern Maine, where this week, in addition to existing with the knowledge that our government is hell-bent on destabilizing the entire Middle East and killing entire schools full of children in the process, I also had a tooth pulled. Good times!

• Watch this guy bomb down the Hogback Mountain sled track in Montville and set a new track record at 33.49 seconds. Jeezum crow, buddy! It looks simultaneously terrifying and awesome; like bobsled meets luge meets literally just sledding down a hill. Would you try it? Thanks to subscriber Erik Perkins for sharing the video with me!

• Intrigued by this new Maine-set thriller novel, “How To Survive In The Woods,” by Kat Rosenfield, set to hit stores this Tuesday. I wonder if any advice she might have for surviving in the Maine wilderness is the same as the advice outdoorspeople in Maine have about it?

• Remember that New York couple that allegedly poisoned their 90-something-year-old neighbor’s trees in Rockport just so they could get a nicer view from their property? Update: they got slapped with a $3,000 fine by the state, but that’s it. Some neighbors!

• Bangor-area restaurant news corner: Bangor Sandwich Company is moving into the space formerly occupied by Grind House, which abruptly closed after its owner got in trouble with the IRS AND got sued. I really like Bangor Sandwich’s food! They make a surprisingly excellent Cubano! I hope they know, however, that if you spend more than a minute or two inside 1 Central St., you will walk out smelling like whatever’s most recently been cooked in there. The ventilation in that building is permanently f-ed. Giacomo’s couldn’t fix it. Grind House couldn’t fix it. Maybe Bangor Sandwich will find the solution. Until then: onion-scented hair for everyone.

• A personal note: I just want to thank everyone that’s supported The Other Maine with a paid subscription since we launched paid four months ago. Because of you, this publication is now well on its way to sustainability. That means more guest writers (if you’ve got a cool idea, hit me up at emilyburnham207 (at) gmail dot com!), more fun (and time-intensive!) interactive and compelling stories, and more resources to put towards everything else. I’m so grateful that I get to do this. Thank you!

Hard to believe that covid lockdowns began six years ago this week! It seems like it happened both yesterday and a thousand years ago. Have we, as a society, learned our lessons and moved on from it both psychologically and policy-wise? Survey says: Not really! Ironically, 100 years ago this week the BDN ran this public service announcement from the still-new Maine Public Health Association encouraging folks to scold - nay, yell at! - people who cough in public. In fact, it literally says you should “rebuke the careless cougher, sneezer and spitter in your vicinity” lest you spread influenza and other diseases around. In 2026, RFK Jr. would likely suggest people actually cough directly into other people’s mouths so they can achieve immunity to all diseases. And eat liver. And work out in jeans.

Music & Dance

March 6: Last Embrace, Fake Smile, BLUNTFORCETRAUMA, and Bite the Bullet, 7 p.m., The Old Town Theatre, Old Town

March 6: 40 Thieves, folk-rock duo, 7 p.m., Hey Sailor, Searsport

March 7: Mnozil Brass, classical fusion ensemble, 7 p.m., Collins Center for the Arts, University of Maine, Orono

March 7: Slaine, U2 tribute band, 7 p.m., Hey Sailor, Searsport

March 9: Rock Orchestra By Candlelight, 7 p.m., Collins Center for the Arts, University of Maine, Orono

March 10: University of Maine Concert Band plays with area high school bands, 7 p.m., Collins Center for the Arts, University of Maine, Orono

March 11: Bagaduce Music House Party featuring Lissa Schneckenburger and Garrett Cameron, 7:30 p.m., 49 South Street, Blue Hill

Theatre & Comedy

March 4-8: Penobscot Theatre Company presents “The Darker The Night, The Brighter The Stars,” new play by John Cariani, nightly, Bangor Opera House, Bangor

March 6-8: Gilbert & Sullivan Society of Maine presents “Princess Ida,” Grand Theatre, Ellsworth

March 6-8: UMaine School of Performing Arts presents “The Lightning Thief: The Percy Jackson Musical,” shows daily, Hauck Auditorium, University of Maine, Orono

March 7: Frogtown Mountain Puppeteers present “The Legend of the Banana Kid,” 10:30 a.m., Blue Hill Town Hall, Blue Hill

March 6-7: Haunting Hour, live readings of scary stories by Penobscot Theatre actors, 9 p.m., The Stage Door, Bangor

March 7: Get Your Green On drag show, 6:30 p.m., Old Town Elks Lodge, Old Town

Arts, Books, Film & Culture

March 5: Talk by author and artist David Florig on his new book, “Negative Peace,” 7 p.m., Blue Hill Public Library, Blue Hill

March 10: Talk and presentation by multimedia artist Jen de los Reyes, 5:30 p.m., Innovative Media Resource Center, University of Maine, Orono

March 10: “How to Repair and Mend Your Clothing By Hand,” 6 p.m., Bangor Public Library, Bangor

March 10: “Gear Up For Big Night,” workshop on preparing for annual amphibian migration, 6 p.m., Fields Pond Audubon Center, Holden

March 11: “Through Her Lens: Women Photographers of Midcoast Maine, 1885-1925,” talk by Penobscot Marine Museum curator Matt Wheeler, 7 p.m., Blue Hill Public Library, Blue Hill

Fairs, Festivals, Markets, Outdoors & Misc.

March 10: “Dr. Seuss’s Cat in the Hat: Live on Stage,” children’s show, 6 p.m., Cross Insurance Center, Bangor

Last week we asked you what your greatest Marden’s finds were - the best deals, the most random things, the items you’re most proud of snagging and still use to this day. You had a lot to say! Here are some highlights.

Probably the 10 pairs of Cole Haan shoes I bought for $10 each, or the $20 Doc Martens. - Chris, Bangor

The best deal was finding a Bodum French Press coffee maker for cheap. They usually run $40! - Dan, Belfast

I bought a dress to wear to my daughter’s wedding! I bought it at Marden’s for $9 in a last-ditch attempt to find a dress locally before heading to a mall. - Susan

My dad was an old friend of Mr. Marden, who started the store. I once got a leather couch, two matching chairs, a love seat, a fridge and a dresser from the Waterville store. The manager at the time, Paul LePage, freaked out about it because Mr. Marden said to sell it all to us at cost - and threw in a free pair of work boots and gloves. And then he made LePage load our truck for us. - Tony, Bangor

I worked at Marden’s when I was a teenager in the 90s. I chose Marden’s as one of my first part-time jobs because I loved the thrilling possibility of finding unusual items or incredible deals. I was also drawn to the disorganization and occasionally chaotic vibe that set it apart from other stores. It’s been so long that I don’t remember much of anything that I bought there. But I still have a wooden duck signed by all the staff as a goodbye present when I left for college. I keep it to always remind me of Marden’s and that time in my life. - Bernadette, New York City

We were in there looking for some furniture for the lake house rental and happened upon a $3500 dining table and chairs for $500. It now lives in our house and the one that it replaced moved to our camp. Winner, winner chicken dinner! - Julie, Dedham

Most surprising was a slew of Bauhaus albums and Bauhaus-member-spin-off albums; I think I even once found a My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult album there. - Will, Bangor

A pair of Japanese raw denim jeans for $20. A NOS pair of binoculars from 1987, all case candy included, for $10. And, when I was a kid, my grandmother bought me a literal black garbage “grab bag” from Marden’s that was honestly incredible. Included were a bunch of packets of “instant ooze” that made a grainy porridge-like slop when you added water, and other packets of “powdered light” (glow in the dark powder) that my cousin and I combined to make Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle mutagen in the bathroom sink. - Ian, Portland

After the 9/11 attack in NYC, the Brewer Mardens received a huge shipment of smoke- and water-damaged clothing — high end designer stuff, outlandish, kinky, incredibly anachronistic in that dingy store. People paraded around in that stuff for months. - Meg, Stockton Springs

I am an old time Marden’s shopper, and one story goes back to when they were in Brewer next to the IGA. Larry Bird announced he was retiring, and we had a picture of Larry Bird my wife had picked up at Mardens for a quarter. We were having a yard sale and she put $2 on the picture and people were arguing over it. My wife sent me to Marden’s to get more, so I made the very short trip and bought all they had. She marked them $2 and we sold out that day - I think 40 or 50 in total. A good Marden’s story and yard sale story since all the yard sale customers had to drive by Marden’s to get to our yard! - Don, Brewer

I saw a pair of John Fluevog shoes in the Ellsworth Marden’s. They were selling for something like $25 and they retailed for $150+ at the time. - Janea, Seattle

Copious yardage of perfect pink wool crepe for $3/yard. I bought some other wool for my mom, but I don’t remember the color. Gorgeous find. - Marie, Freeport

My cowboy boots. I always wanted a pair but convinced myself I couldn’t afford them even if they came in my size. Lo and behold, there they were at Marden’s: $70. Which was $65 more than I had to spend. I walked away and regretted my decision immediately. 2 weeks later I walked in for something else and there they still were. Still $70. But I took it as a sign and bought the boots. Who needs to eat? 15 years later they still bring me to my happy place. And add more than an inch to my 6’10” height. Which is SUPER important. - Sam, Bangor

Welcome, sports fans, to the first-ever and possibly never-to-be-repeated March Madness of Maine Characters!

32 iconic real and fictional Maine characters will face off in five rounds of heated competition to discover which Mainer reigns supreme. It’s time to fill out your bracket and make your predictions!

Wait - real AND fictional characters? Yup! Also characters dead and alive, human and non-human, and both massively famous and totally niche. The only commonality? They’re all Maine icons. Maine Character Athletic Association (MCAA) bylaws state that none of this has to make sense.

A little backstory. A couple years ago my partner Zach and I were in the car listening to Last Podcast on the Left’s annual March Madness of Murder & Mayhem episode, in which they pit various real and made-up bad guys against each other in a bracket. We immediately seized upon the idea that this would be an ideal format to replicate with Maine characters. It percolated for a long time. Lists were made. Matchups were debated. Many laughs were had.

Last weekend, however, Zach and I sat down and finally - after nearly two years of debate - crafted our bracket. It’s composed of iconic Maine characters of varying levels of actual power and intelligence. They’re matched up in a 32-team unseeded bracket, which starting today you can fill out - here’s a link to a plain bracket. I would love to have this be an interactive thing you could fill out right here in this post, but Substack doesn’t allow you to embed most things and there aren’t any good bracket generators out there anyway. So we’ll do it the old fashioned way!

Don’t think too much about the specifics when you’re filling out your bracket. Go off vibes, for the most part. Or take it super literally! We’re having fun here, people. Remember: It’s not supposed to make sense. In fact, it wouldn’t be any fun if it made sense.

This may be a one-time event. Or, maybe we’ll do it again next year with some new characters mixed in. I’ll update readers on winners - decided by votes from you all - in a This Week’s Haul posts starting next week, March 12. First-round brackets must be submitted by March 11.

OK, folks: it’s time to meet your Tremendous Thirty-Two! Questions? Please submit them to MCAA co-commissioner Emily Burnham by responding to this email or commenting on this post.

These two Maine legal heavyweights are both concerned with getting one thing: justice, whether it’s for the many, many (suspiciously many) murdered residents of Cabot Cove as seen on “Murder, She Wrote”, or the many injured victims of accidents in Maine. Jessica Fletcher possesses uncanny skills at solving crimes and being beloved by literally everyone in town, while Joe Bornstein can get you the compensation you deserve, and, as we know, means business.

Sal, from the iconic Robert McCloskey book “Blueberries for Sal,” will face off against Bananas T. Bear, the UMaine athletic mascot, who in a shocking turn of events is actually competing as a tag team. Competing will be both the actual live bear that UMaine had as its mascot well into the 1960s, and a hungover college student in a bear costume. Our two Bananas certainly outmatch Sal in brawn and may likely kuplink, kuplank, kuplunk her into the stratosphere, but this three-year-old child has something they don’t: a bucket.

Reptile on reptile action! From the sea, Cassie, the Casco Bay sea monster, ancient cryptid plying the waters off Portland. Spotted only a handful of times over the centuries by sailors, and which reportedly has a very long neck and swims at very high speeds. From the land, Wessie, a big ass snake that presumably still roams the woods in Westbrook. How do we know that? They found its big ass shed skin.

The battle of the 1990s Maine sports legends! In this corner, Joey Gamache, a championship featherweight and lightweight boxer from Lewiston and a local hero to a generation of Mainers - especially kids of Franco-American descent. And in our starting lineup is Ricky Craven, the pride of Newburgh, a race-winning NASCAR driver who last year bought Speedway 95 in Hermon. Both were icons to 90s kids in Maine.

According to DC Comics, Aquaman is the son of Maine lighthouse keeper Tom Curry, who had a fling with an Atlantean and then raised their son in Maine - therefore, Aquaman is a Mainer. It’s only fair that he should go up against someone who is also underwater, and that’s none other than General Ramius from “The Hunt for Red October,” who will be competing while inside Red October, a nuclear submarine. Yes, we know Ramius is Soviet - but he defected to the U.S. And as we all know, Red October was last seen in the Penobscot River. It counts, dammit! Один пинг! [One Ping!]

It’s the Battle of the Eyepatches! Captain Nick was the sea captain mascot of Bangor restaurant Captain Nick’s, a seafood joint on outer Union Street that is mostly remembered for its absolutely incredible commercial jingle in the 1980s, which has been a vocal stim in the Burnham-Robbins household for all of our 18 years together. Does Captain Nick actually have an eyepatch? No, but we choose to believe he does. Meanwhile, Dick Curless was a badass country star from Maine, who certainly DID have an eyepatch, and who sang one of the coolest, darkest country songs of all time, “A Tombstone Every Mile.”

Yeah, Pennywise may be an interdimensional demigod who literally brutally murders and eats the children of Derry, Maine, but the Bucksport Witch can attack from beyond the grave and is powered by centuries of female rage after being put to death for “being a witch.” We think this is absolutely a fair fight.

See, the thing about this pairing is that these are both military guys. Hawkeye from “M*A*S*H*” is an iconoclastic army surgeon in the Korean War, originally from Crabapple Cove, Maine. Joshua Chamberlain, of course, is a Civil War hero (the Lion of the Round Top!) and later Maine governor - ironically, Hawkeye could have fixed up Chamberlain’s wartime wounds, which plagued him all his life. Hawkeye is excellent at surgery and drinking whiskey. Chamberlain, though: BAYONETS!

Basically, this is Maine accent v. Maine accent. Bert & I, the two old Maine fishermen who trade folksy stories in Marshall Dodge and Robert Bryan’s famed recordings and books, go up against the Marden’s Lady, Birdie Googins, who for many years waxed poetic - in a thick Maine accent - in commercials for Marden’s. Who’s got the thickah accent? This’ll be a wicked pissah of wallop, ayuh.

This matchup is based purely on vibes. We can picture the Moxie Man selling the delicious nerve tonic that is Moxie from a soda fountain in downtown Bangor, while outside, Public Enemy No. 1, gangster Al Brady, gets gunned down by G-Men on Central Street. They both share a certain early 20th century je ne sais quoi.

So Slugger the Sea Dog, the mascot of the Portland Sea Dogs, is basically a dog-seal hybrid, right? Not going to get into how that works genetically, but he’ll be competing against Andre the Seal, the actual seal who befriended Rockland resident Harry Goodridge and was a familiar presence in the harbor between 1961 and 1986. Slugger has opposable thumbs, somehow, and carries a baseball bat - but Andre has endurance, having swum between the New England Aquarium in Boston and Rockport every summer for years.

The heartbreaker. Brother against brother. Giant man vs. giant ox. The inevitable matchup. Tears will be shed. Giant flapjacks will be eaten. To borrow from the bard, Bruce Dickinson and his Maidens Iron, “The bugle sounds, the charge begins… But on this battlefield, no one wins.”

They didn’t ask for these powers. And yet, these two Maine anti-heroes have them: Carrie White, a teenage outcast with terrifying powers of tele- and pyro-kinesis, and Barnabas Collins, a vampire with superhuman strength and speed and the ability to shapeshift and teleport. In the end, all they want is love.

The tiniest, cutest matchup! Charlotte, the wise, kind barn spider. The Bangor Savings Christmas Kittens, the fuzzy little agents of chaos. This is arguably the most savage match-up if it weren’t so gosh darn adorable.

Here’s the thing: these are both children who were killed and resurrected, in a way. Casper, a boy who died from pneumonia and came back as a cute lil ghost and according to the 1995 movie, is from Maine. Gage Creed, brought back to life by the spirit of a Wendigo that haunts the titular Pet Sematary. We believe that the spirit of friendship (pun intended) may be the key factor in this matchup.

An immovable object meets an unsinkable legend. Yes, we concede that a full-grown moose will have every possible advantage in this one. It’s believed by some people, however, that lobsters may in fact have a form of biological immortality. Does this mean the lobster could sustain great damage, heal, and go on to live forever? Technically, no. Scientifically, also no. Will we ignore science in the name of entertainment? Yes.

Good morning from eastern Maine, where this week, I belatedly learned that the Brewer Marden’s has already begun the process of moving out of its longtime Wilson Street location into its new digs in the former Burlington Coat Factory in Bangor, in between Lowe’s and Target. I am now painfully aware that this means that I have likely missed most of the DEALS DEALS DEALS as they try to sell most of the contents of the old store in anticipation of the new. I am bereft. Think of the savings!

Though I am looking forward to Marden’s being a little closer and a little more convenient to my typical shopping habits, I will miss the grubby, disorganized old store a bit. I liked that it was a little bit of a hot mess! Will it lose some of its charm if it’s all clean and sensible? The chaos was part of the fun.

In honor of our favorite salvage and surplus store, I ask you, dear reader: what’s your best-ever Marden’s find? Maybe it’s some big ticket item you got for a fraction of the price - or maybe it’s just truly bizarre or random. Either way: sound off in the comments, or send me an email. If I get some good responses I’ll publish them next week.

• Operate on the wrong foot once, shame on you. Operate on the wrong foot twice, also shame on you. How has this guy not had his medical license revoked?! If I ever have surgery like this I’m going to write WRONG <INSERT BODY PART> with Sharpie on the one that’s NOT being operated on.

• Interesting development! The Bangor Historian, a new freebie direct mail newspaper published by The Ellsworth American, will start appearing in Bangor-area mailboxes soon. As someone that has spent more than a decade digging for those choice historical tidbits in archives around Maine, I applaud this move. Who says print is dead? Most everybody, unfortunately, which is why they’ll have a website too.

• In more “great place to start a cult” news: the “antique village” in Pittston is back on the market for $6 million schmackos. Despite our housing shortage, no one wants to buy this albatross of a rich guy’s hobby. Maybe lower the price by a mil or so, and then we can talk. Unless, of course, you’re an independently wealthy cult leader looking for the perfect place to lead your pyramid-powered psychosexual energy workshops. Ascend to Level Amethyst in scenic rural Maine!

We are presently in the inactive period of the Attempting to Develop Sears Island cycle in Maine. The most recent active period ended in 2024, when an attempt to develop an offshore wind port fizzled once Trump was elected again and renewable energy projects were paused or scuttled (Drill, baby, drill? In this climate disaster? Yikes). Don’t worry, though: a plan to develop Sears Island will come back, and so will local and state opposition to any development there. It always does. Various governors have attempted to build an aluminum smelter, an oil refinery, a nuclear power plant, a coal-fired power plant and a liquid natural gas terminal. The commercial shipping port idea lasted the longest, but it too went kaput 30 years ago this week, during the Angus King administration. Why do we keep bothering? I don’t know. Maybe pick another place to build something big and useful and job-creating, <INSERT MAINE GOVERNOR HERE>.

Music & Dance

Feb. 26: Hot Ticket Hootenanny: A Very Feminist Variety Show fundraiser for the Maine Women’s Lobby, featuring songwriters Darcy Withers, Sara Trunzo and Sunny Marie, punk band TheWorst, ImprovAcadia, Eye Candy Burlesque and a feminist singalong, 7 p.m., Next Generation Theatre, Brewer

Feb. 26: Beginner’s contradance and open jam, 6 p.m., Blue Hill Congregational Church, Blue Hill

Feb. 27: Bangor Contradance with Springtide and caller Hannah Chamberlain, 6 p.m., Unitarian Universalist Society of Maine, Park Street, Bangor

Feb. 27: TheWorst and Gailish, 7 p.m, Hey Sailor, Searsport

Feb. 28: Bangor Celtic Crossroads presents Celtic duo Hildaland, 7 p.m., Next Generation Theatre, Brewer

Feb. 28: Zac Ross of Man Overboard, Bangor Transit Authority and Milk Street, 7 p.m., The Old Town Theatre, Old Town

Feb. 28: Twisted Pine, bluegrass band, 7 p.m., Minsky Recital Hall, University of Maine, Orono

Feb. 28: Muskeg, Phil Hummer and the White Falcons, and Kitty Literally, 7 p.m., American Legion Hall, Belfast

Theatre & Comedy

Feb. 26-29: Penobscot Theatre Company presents “The Darker The Night, The Brighter The Stars,” new play by John Cariani, nightly, Bangor Opera House, Bangor

Feb. 27: High Stakes House of Comedy presents Tuck Tucker and Ian Stuart, 8 p.m., Hollywood Casino, Bangor

Feb. 27-29: UMaine School of Performing Arts presents “The Lightning Thief: The Percy Jackson Musical,” shows daily, Hauck Auditorium, University of Maine, Orono

Feb. 28: Belfast Maskers staged reading series presents Donald Margulies “Dinner With Friends,” 2 p.m., Basil Burwell Community Theatre, Belfast

Feb. 28: Haunting Hour, live readings of scary stories by Penobscot Theatre actors, 9 p.m., The Stage Door, Bangor

March 3: “Kinky Boots,” Broadway musical tour, 7 p.m., March 3, Cross Insurance Center, Bangor

Arts, Books, Film & Culture

Feb. 26: “Building a Writing Life: Practical Routes to Publication,” talk by visiting scholar Amy Halloran, 5 p.m., Williams Hall, University of Maine, Orono

Feb. 26: Red Rabbit Film Club screens “Suspiria,” 7 p.m., Red Rabbit Bazaar, Bangor

Feb. 26: “Inhuman But Profitable Adventures: Down East Maine and the Illegal Slave Trade, 1840-1865,” talk by Dr. Kate McMahon, 7 p.m., Blue Hill Public Library, Blue Hill

Feb. 28: “Creating Habitats with Native Plants,” gardening workshop with Yvonne Vasquez, 10:30 a.m., Page Farm and Home Museum, University of Maine, Orono

Feb. 28: “The Librarians,” documentary screening, 2 p.m., Bangor Public Library, Bangor

March 3: Finding Our Voices author series talk with Irish writer Roisin O’Donnell, 4 p.m., Ellsworth Public Library, Ellsworth

Fairs, Festivals, Markets, Outdoors & Misc.

Feb. 27-March 1: Mainely MeepleCon, three days of both video and tabletop gaming, Hollywood Casino, Bangor

Feb. 27-March 1: Belfast Ice Festival, including State of Maine Ice Carving Championship, vendors, live music, kid’s activities and more, throughout downtown Belfast

Feb. 28: Winter animal tracking walk, 11:30 a.m., Fields Pond Audubon Center, Holden

March 2: Tap Maple Trees with MOFGA, spend an afternoon learning how to tap maple trees, 1 p.m., MOFGA HQ, Unity; registration here

@downeasthardcore

Downeast Hardcore on Instagram: "In the middle of nowhere, we f…

I’m really excited to share the trailer for “Downeast Hardcore: Stories From The Kave,” a new documentary from our friend, Maine filmmaker Ricky Leighton, about The Kave - the iconic Bucksport music venue that for more than a decade cultivated a tight knit, rabid community of hardcore fans, led by indelible den mother Kathy Kave. Kathy and The Kave’s story is a true Maine story, and it fucking rules. I am really honored to play a very small part in the film! It’s coming out later this year. More to come. Support Maine filmmakers (read The Maine Playweek for help doing so!) and music and art and community!

It was the first truly warm day after a long, obnoxious winter, and nearly all of the snow had melted. Instead of white, the street was brown and gray and dotted with puddles, and the March sun was insistent and blinding and welcome.

Misty locked the front door behind her and dug her hand into her front jeans pocket, pinching her fingers around the $20 bill to make sure it was still there. Her boyfriend Mike’s friend Evan had fallen asleep on the couch while they were watching a movie, and a bunch of things had fallen out of his Monster Energy hoodie - a pack of cigarettes, receipts, his keys, a $20 bill. She checked to see if Mike was looking, and then she plucked the money from the floor and shoved it in her bra.

Evan sucked. He was always high, he was always around, and he made gross jokes about women and gay people that weren’t funny and made her feel uncomfortable. He’d been arrested a few times, and she always felt like it was inevitable that he’d do something stupid that would get them all in trouble. She never wanted to be alone in the apartment with him. If he asked where his 20 bucks went, she would feign ignorance.

She had a plan for the money. She was going to walk down to the dollar store and buy tampons, lip gloss, some hair ties, snacks, and one of those big cans of beer. She was going to go into the store bathroom and use the first three, and then she was going to sit down by the river and enjoy the last two.

Beyond that, no plans. She had the day off from her dumb job cleaning at the Comfort Inn. The store was about ten minutes away on foot. She was screwing over Evan, even if only a little bit. Misty felt a sudden surge of optimism; it shot through her body like electricity.

Tampons first, then the hair ties, then five minutes spent picking out tinted lip gloss (Summer Sunset, sort of an orangey-red-pink, like the Dunkin’ Donuts colors were mixed). A bag of cheddar and sour cream chips. A big can of Corona. She’d already done the mental math; it would be about $22, but she had the quarters she’d scrounged from around the apartment. It would be enough.

She got the key from the cashier and went into the bathroom in the back of the store to fix herself up. She pulled her ponytail up, though not all the way up; up enough so it hit at the very top of the back of her head, and it jauntily flipped around as she moved, like the cheerleader she never was. She pulled a few strands out to frame her face, the way her friend Katie taught her in eighth grade. Katie taught her how to do makeup and hair and all that girly stuff. Misty’s mom never cared about those sorts of things. Her mom died three years ago. There wasn’t much left she could learn from her. She’d learned most things on her own.

She swiped a generous amount of Summer Sunset on her lips and puckered in the mirror for a minute, admiring the sheen and the color. Harry Styles’ “As It Was” played on the speakers. She listened for a moment, and then heard a scream.

Misty froze. She heard a commotion in the store. She should probably stay in the locked bathroom, but she had to see what was going on. She had to. It was a bad idea. She had to.

Delicately, she opened the bathroom door a crack and peered out. She could see two people in dark hoodies, their faces covered; one filling a garbage bag with things from the shelves, and one holding a gun to the cashier at the register, who was fumbling to open it and give them the money.

The one raiding the shelves wore baggy jeans that barely stayed on his scrawny body, and a Monster Energy hoodie. She would recognize his stupid ass anywhere. He was wearing the same thing last night when he fell asleep on her couch and she took his $20 bill. It was Evan.

She watched him stuff deodorant and razors into the garbage bag. She knew he was going to try to sell it to people in the neighborhood, or trade it for drugs. He would probably show up at their place tonight, or tomorrow, and crow about the money he’d come into, even though the other guy was clearly responsible for that. He’d say he’d scoped out the store, planned it all perfectly. He’d probably even say he had the gun, and would laugh about how scared the cashier was. She hated Evan so much.

Misty scanned the area near where he was grabbing things and had an idea. She crawled out on her hands and knees into the dry goods aisle, one over from where Evan was, and huddled on the floor, holding her breath. She grabbed a bottle of cooking oil, opened the lid, and dumped it out, tossing it all around her and underneath the shelving unit into the next aisle, where Evan was heading as he frantically grabbed anything that could conceivably be sold or traded. She scrambled back into the bathroom and peeked out through a crack in the door.

Evan stepped into the puddle of cooking oil and slipped; flailing his arms around and running in place like a cartoon character. He fell, hard, directly on his tailbone, and screamed in pain. The guy with the gun spun around and saw Evan writhing on the floor, shiny with oil like a piece of chicken about to go in the oven. He bolted out of the store, pockets stuffed with cash from the register, leaving Evan to deal with it by himself.

Misty closed the bathroom door and listened to Evan attempt to get up on his feet, slipping and sliding around on the floor. A minute later, she heard new voices; deep ones that barked and ordered. She waited a minute, and then gingerly peered back out into the store. The cops were dragging Evan, kicking and swearing, out of the building; his garbage bag full of stolen goods laid open and overflowing on the floor.

She crept up to the register and waved to the cashier, who looked deeply shaken as she gave a hesitant wave back. A cop stormed back in, and Misty answered all his questions; she was already in the store, she was in the bathroom, and once she heard the yelling and carrying on she decided to stay in there until it stopped. The cashier confirmed all of it. She didn’t mention she was responsible for the cooking oil, though if they eventually saw her on the security cameras dumping it on the floor, fine. She’d deal with that later. She didn’t mention the guy’s name was Evan, and that he ate their food and hogged their XBox and once tried to kiss her when he was blackout drunk, and she shoved him off the front porch.

The cops said they got the other guy too; he was running down the street, cash flying from his pockets when they apprehended him. They probably wouldn’t be able to retrieve all the cash, but they got most of it, they thought. They took Misty’s name and contact info and let her go.

She walked out into the brightness of the midday sun, the adrenaline still lingering in her nervous system. She pulled the lip gloss from her pocket and reapplied it, and began the walk down the steep State Street hill toward the riverfront, swinging her plastic bag of tampons, beer and chips as it dangled from her fingers.

As she waited at a traffic light for her turn to cross the street, a $20 bill flew up against the light pole. She looked around and, seeing no one that would likely tell on her, snapped it up and shoved it in her bra. Things were looking up, she thought.

She made her way to the riverfront park and found a big rock right by the water, surrounded by trees, not immediately visible to Bangor cops or dog walkers or frisbee throwers. The beer made a satisfying crack as she opened it; it wasn’t quite as cold as she’d imagined it being, but that was OK. The chips were salty, the air felt fresh and comfortable, and the sparkles on the Penobscot were too brilliant to look at directly. I should get some sunglasses, Misty thought. Things were looking up. Things were looking up.

Good morning from eastern Maine, where tonight, I will be genuinely happy with any outcome at tonight’s gold medal matchup between the U.S. and Canadian women’s ice hockey teams at the Milan Cortina Olympics. I love my country. I love Canada. I love these badasses and their - dare I say it? - heated rivalry. Either way, it’s a huge win for women’s hockey. And it’s bound to be a hell of a game.

• Thrilled to learn that Pro Libris, the beloved indie bookstore in Bangor that for 45 years was owned by Eric Furry (RIP) has new owners! Local writer Foxx Emm and their partner John Dixon purchased the store this week and have immediately reopened, with an eye to modernizing the store’s vast inventory. And - can you believe it? - Pro Libris is now on Instagram and has a website! Best of luck to them!

• More cool Bangor business news: Shamee in Maine, a Middle Eastern restaurant that until very recently has operated part-time out of the Korean Dad shared kitchen space in Veazie, will open a permanent location in downtown Bangor later this year. The owners have leased 23 Hammond St., the former location of Bahaar Pakistani, and intend to expand the menu to include even more Levantine goodies.

• I’ve never been much of a reality TV or reality competition person outside of a few notable exceptions (“RuPaul’s Drag Race”, of course, and the first ten or so seasons of “Project Runway,” namely), but I do love the fact that products of the show “Survivor” hid immunity idols in all 50 states and chose Monhegan for Maine. Quite a haul in the dead of winter to go find it, but these intrepid survivors were up to the challenge!

• RIP to Frederick Wiseman, the landmark documentary filmmaker whose more than 50 films over the course of nearly 60 years are among the finest documentaries ever made. Wiseman directed “Belfast, Maine,” the stirring - and locally controversial - film about our beloved town of the same name, released in 1998. He lived part of the year in nearby Northport for decades, though he kept a low profile.

60 years ago this week, Maine voters narrowly chose to keep a ban on the sale of alcohol on Sundays. More than 30 years after Prohibition had ended, Maine still had many folks that believed the state should have some strictures on access to alcohol - and certainly on Sundays. You should be at church, not at the bottom of a bottle! After all, in 1851, Maine became the first state to outlaw alcohol altogether, nearly 70 years before the 18th Amendment outlawed it nationwide. It would take another ten years for Maine to approve Sunday sales of alcohol in the mid-1970s, and even then, you could only buy hard alcohol (liquor) at state-run and regulated stores. That practice ended in 1991. Now you can buy Fireball nips at the Irving, my guy. Drink ‘em and toss ‘em right outcha truck window.

Music & Dance

Feb. 20: Mood Honey, funk-soul band, 7 p.m., Marshall Wharf Brewing Company, Belfast

Feb. 21: The Met in HD presents “La Boheme,” 1 p.m., Collins Center for the Arts, University of Maine, Orono

Feb. 21: Thy Enemy, Horse Funeral, Dungavenhooter and Witch Spire, 7 p.m., The Old Town Theatre, Old Town

Feb. 22: Belfast Flying Shoes presents English Country Dance with music by Carol Bittenson, Cecile Leroy & Daniel Raine and calling by Maura McCampbell & Chrissy Fowler, 2 p.m., Unitarian Universalist Church, Belfast

Feb. 26: Hot Ticket Hootenanny: A Very Feminist Variety Show fundraiser for the Maine Women’s Lobby, featuring songwriters Darcy Withers, Sara Trunzo and Sunny Marie, punk band TheWorst, ImprovAcadia, Eye Candy Burlesque and a feminist singalong, 7 p.m., Next Generation Theatre, Brewer

Theatre & Comedy

Feb. 20: Cirque Kalabante, 7 p.m., Collins Center for the Arts, University of Maine, Orono

Jan. 29-Feb. 22: Penobscot Theatre Company presents John Cariani’s “Almost, Maine,” Wednesdays-Sundays, Bangor Opera House, Bangor

Feb. 12-22: Ten Bucks Theatre Company presents “Pride and Prejudice,” Thursdays-Sundays, Cyrus Pavilion Theatre, University of Maine, Orono

Feb. 13-22: The Grand Players present “Murder on the Orient Express,” Fridays-Sundays, Grand Theatre, Ellsworth

Feb. 21: Queen City Improv comedy night, 7 p.m., Next Generation Theatre, Brewer

Feb. 21: “Girls Night: The Musical,” 5 p.m., Gracie Theatre, Husson University, Bangor

Arts, Books, Film & Culture

Feb. 21: Screening of “Mississippi Masala,” 2:30 p.m., Blue Hill Public Library, Blue Hill

Feb. 21: Black History Month film series screens documentary “Amazing Grace,” 4 p.m., Colonial Theatre, Belfast

Feb. 22: “Serf’s Up: Home and Happiness in the New Feudalism,” documentary screening, 3 p.m., Collins Center for the Arts, University of Maine, Orono

Feb. 22: “A Tale of Two Adoptions,” talk by author Robert Klose, 4 p.m., Left Bank Books, Belfast

Feb. 24: “Interrupting a Screen-Based Childhood,” parenting workshop, 5 p.m., Blue Hill Public Library, Blue Hill

Feb. 24: Creative Career Lab Skill Builder series workshop, 5 p.m., Bangor Public Library, Bangor

Feb. 24: Black History Month film series screens “Black Queer Short Films,” 6:30 p.m., Colonial Theatre, Belfast

Feb. 25: Derry-Free Horror Book Club reads “This House Will Feed” by Maria Turead, 7:30 p.m., Bookspace, Columbia Street, Bangor

Fairs, Festivals, Markets, Outdoors & Misc.

Feb. 20-22: Bangor Anime Con, three days of anime panels, vendors, dance parties, cosplay and more, Cross Insurance Center, Bangor

Feb. 21: Winter wildlife walk, 11 a.m., Hirundo Wildlife Refuge, Old Town

Feb. 22: Gabby’s Dollhouse Live, 6 p.m., Cross Insurance Center, Bangor

(Re: The feature image for this post) I popped into Tiller & Rye in Brewer this week, to buy some treats for a friend and grab a quick lunch. As I perused the aisles, I came across this odd bit of marketing: body wash themed to historic Maine figures. I know when I think of Joshua Chamberlain, I think of the scent of warm sandalwood spice. Who hasn’t smelled refreshing citrus when considering the legacy of Bangor’s Hannibal Hamlin, who could have dramatically changed American history if he’d been allowed to stay on as Abraham Lincoln’s vice president? A little disappointed that Fly Rod Crosby’s body wash is unscented, however. This woman tramped through the Maine Woods and gutted presumably thousands of fish in her time. Surely she deserves, say, lavender and sage? Buttery vanilla? Cedar and pine? Freshly caught brook trout?

After a thorough inventory of all our readily accessible old stuff, my Mom and I landed on the items we’d bring to the taping of “Antiques Roadshow.” We scored tickets for the day-long shoot at Coastal Maine Botanical Gardens i…

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Good morning from eastern Maine, where this week, as I sat writing at my beloved Chimera Coffee in downtown Bangor one afternoon, I managed to overhear an hour or so of what I presume to be a fi…

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Nearly every guide to surviving a Maine winter includes a suggestion to get outside and enjoy some winter sports activities. Skiing, skating, snowmobiling, snowshoeing, hiking, pond hockey, all that kind of stuff. Those are all wonderful, exciting, healthy things to do - they get you in the sun, they get you around people, they get your blood pumping. G…

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Good morning from somewhere over the eastern seaboard, most likely, where right as this post goes up, I am on my way back to Maine after six days in beautiful Tulum, Mexico. I have visited Mayan ruins and floated in ancient canals and cenotes. I have eaten my weight in tacos and tamales and had an unspeakable number of margaritas and mezcalitas. I have …

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In the 16th century, Spanish conquistadors and colonizers in South America believed that somewhere out in the continent’s vast jungles, mountains and grasslands there lay the city of El Dorado. The legendary “city of gold,” con…

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Good morning from eastern Maine, where this week, on Tuesday morning, I went outside to measure the accumulated snow on our picnic table in the backyard, and it amounted to a whopping 17 …

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