This Week's Haul, March 19: 100% made in Maine and AI-free
And: It's heating up in the March Madness of Maine Characters!
Good morning from eastern Maine, where this week, I inadvertently shared a piece of AI slop on one of my social media feeds; Godzilla salsa dancing, if you must know. Upon realizing that I’d shared something so cringe, I immediately deleted the post and then sat in my shame for a solid five minutes, reflecting on having violated my personal commitment to being an AI hater 100 percent of the time, and on our general fallibility as human beings, so easily seduced by fleeting pleasures. What a time to be alive. You have my solemn word that nothing you see or read here - NOTHING - will ever be written or produced by anybody other than a human. Unless I manage to finally teach my dog to learn how to read.
Any update on the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum heist is big news to me - it’s perhaps my very favorite unsolved true crime story of all time. This Boston Globe article provides a small but telling new wrinkle to the case; namely, that a mobster called Meatball said some of the priceless paintings were taken to Philadelphia in a chicken truck. Some of the others, as we know, may have ended up in a farmhouse in Maine. Will we ever know what truly happened to those purloined paintings? Maybe. Probably not.
Have you been to the new Bangor Marden’s yet? I haven’t yet. I hear it’s real clean. I hear the deals are… fine. I may venture out there this weekend. Sound off in the comments if you’ve made the trek!
Someone should write a trend piece on the explosion of vintage and upcycled clothing and home goods shops in downtown Bangor - Red Rabbit, Log Jam, Cool Girl and now A Vintage Vixen, which opens next week on Harlow Street. I guess that someone would be me, wouldn’t it? Welp: here’s the piece! This is the piece.
Also exciting news: The Emporium Spooky Goods is moving from its current State Street location in downtown Bangor to a new, larger location on Main Street! The State Street shop is closing in a few days and the business will reopen on May 1 in expanded digs with some cool, spooky new offerings. More info to come!
Big congrats to our friend and my former BDN colleague Sarah Walker Caron on the publication of her TENTH book! TENTH! This woman has written a whopping TEN cookbooks and other books, including her most recent, “The Pizza Planet Cookbook,” out just this week. It’s themed to the restaurant featured in the “Toy Story” movies - great timing, since “Toy Story 5” is coming out this June! It’s available wherever books are sold.
I had a fun time watching the abandoned, condemned house kitty corner from our house get torn down last week. Here’s hoping the new owners build new housing there, and don’t just leave it as an empty lot.
With the news that nurses at Northern Light Eastern Maine Medical Center are preparing to strike on March 23 in protest of a contract that doesn’t address staffing ratios, health insurance benefits and pay for women’s health nurses, it’s worth noting that the strike will fall during a historic week for the nurse’s union at EMMC. This week marks the 50th anniversary of EMMC nurses unionizing altogether - the vote to unionize was cast on Thursday, March 18, 1976. 50 years later, they’re still fighting for fair treatment for nurses, and for the patients they care for. Anyone that’s ever spent any time in a hospital knows that it’s the nurses that make our entire healthcare system function. Give them everything. Always.
Music & Dance
March 20: Fully Funktional, 6 p.m., Marshall Wharf Brewing Company, Belfast
March 21: Celtic band Doolally, 2 p.m., Bangor Public Library, Bangor
March 21: Bangor Celtic Crossroads presents Cecilia, 7 p.m., Next Generation Theatre, Brewer
March 21: The Mallett Brothers Band, 7:30 p.m., Gracie Theatre, Husson University, Bangor
March 21: David Fiuczynski’s KIF Trio, Gabriel Marin and Mike Billings, 7 p.m., a night of deep jazz and funk, Bodywise Pilates, Harlow St., Bangor
March 21: Goblin Brain, Manismurder, Trixie, Self Love and Horse Funeral, 7 p.m., The Old Town Theatre, Old Town
March 21: Maine Metal Night with Revenant, Castle Crusher and Militia, 7 p.m., Hey Sailor, Searsport
March 22: Bangor Symphony Orchestra Masterworks series presents “The Rite of Spring,” 3 p.m., Collins Center for the Arts, University of Maine, Orono
Theatre & Comedy
March 19-22: Belfast Maskers presents “Below the Belt,” new play, 7 p.m. nightly and 2 p.m. Sunday, Basil Burwell Community Theatre, Belfast
March 20-22: ImprovAcadia and PTC present “A Kick In Your Cabot Cove,” The Stage Door, Bangor
March 21: PTC Haunting Hour, live readings of horror stories, 9 p.m., The Stage Door, Bangor
March 20-22: New Surry Theatre presents “The Roommate,” daily at Blue Hill Town Hall, Blue Hill
Art, Books, Film & Culture
March 19: “How’s the Water Quality In Our Bay?” presentation by Joy Bowles, 6:30 p.m., Belfast Free Library, Belfast
March 19: “You Are Not Your Thoughts,” live collaborative art showcase w. Brian Cattelle and DJ Ice Ghost, 6 p.m., Red Rabbit Bazaar, Bangor
March 20: Book talk and signing with author Dan Simon for his new book, “Ashland,” 7 p.m., Bookspace, Columbia Street, Bangor
March 21: Blue Hill Books screens “Anna Karenina” (2012), 2:30 p.m., Blue Hill Public Library, Blue Hill
March 21: Independent Lens Pop-Up: “The Inquisitor,” documentary on Black feminist icon Barbara Jordan, 2 p.m., Ellsworth Public Library, Ellsworth
March 23: “Maine’s PFAS Crisis: A Comprehensive Policy Review,” 3 p.m., Norman Smith Hall, University of Maine, Orono
March 23: Mary Morton Cowan discusses her book, “Timberrr! A History of Logging in New England,” 5 p.m., The Barn at Woodlawn, Ellsworth
March 24: Opera House Arts Film Club screens “On The Waterfront,” 6 p.m., Stonington Opera House, Stonington
March 24: “Little Giant: A Short Film, a Book, and a Conversation among Storytellers about Creative Courage,” 6:30 p.m., Belfast Free Library, Belfast
March 24: Finocchi Films screens “Moonstruck,” 6:30 p.m., Colonial Theatre, Belfast
March 25: Derry-Free Horror Book Club reads “Trad Wife” by Saratoga Schaefer, 7:30 p.m., Bookspace, Columbia Street, Bangor
Fairs, Festivals, Markets, Outdoors & Misc.
March 20-22: Eastern Maine Sportsmen’s Show, all weekend, Field House, University of Maine, Orono
March 21: Annual Jigsaw Puzzle Solving Competition, starting at 10:30 a.m., Bangor Public Library, Bangor
March 21: Ellsworth Garden Club annual seed swap, gardening advice panel and book sale, 10 a.m., Ellsworth Public Library, Ellsworth
March 21: Community Expo and Kid’s Carnival, 10 a.m.-2 p.m., Hampden Academy, Hampden
March 21: Phoenix Pro Wrestling, 5:30 p.m., Bangor Parks & Recreation headquarters, Bangor
March 21-22: Maine Maple Weekend, sugarhouses open and events planned statewide; full list of events here
The March Madness of Maine Characters continues! Your Elite Eight has arrived, and wow, there were some SERIOUS upsets during this last round. Thankfully, we’re also far enough along in this thing that it’s reasonable now to use Substack’s built in POLLS for voting. Take a look at who has made it this far in this landmark competition, and cast your votes!
Joe Bornstein vs. Joey Gamache
I honestly did not expect Joey Gamache to make it as far as he has in this competition, and I’m also surprised he managed to defeat a sea monster. But, just as Rocky Balboa beat Ivan Drago and Clubber Land, Gamache came out on top. Now, though, he must face Joe Bornstein, who, through the power of the legal system, will sue the ever-loving shit out of him.
Red October vs. Joshua Chamberlain
I also did not expect Joshua Chamberlain to defeat Pennywise, perhaps the most iconic Maine villain of all time. But, BAYONETS is too powerful a spell, and Chamberlain made it through. Can he take on Red October, who managed to win over Maine country legend Dick Curless?
Marden’s Lady vs. Paul Bunyan
I don’t even have anything clever to say about this matchup. It’s just icon v. icon. I leave it up to you, dear reader.
Charlotte the Spider vs. A Lobster
You know, lobsters are actually very closely related to spiders! It’s arthropod v. arthropod in this round. Which is a stronger ability - a pinchy pinchy pinch from a lobster, or calligraphy and wisdom from a sentient spider?
I want to see your dog read!